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Dr. Barron's Reptile Romp Dr. Barron inserts a needle into a reptile. TYLER LUCERO GAM& The thought of lizards or snakes is usually enough to turn most people's blood cold, but Dr. Jim Barron, Assistant Professor of Biology here at MSU-B, hunts for the creepy-crawlers every sum-mer. Barron, a vertebrate ecologist, chose to study Phgnosoma hernadesi, commonly known as the mountain short-homed lizard, two years ago for several reasons — but the simple fact that very little research as been done on the species was motiva- Photo courtesy of Mac Albin tion enough for Barron, the consummate scientist. His field work also satisfies the University's ex-pectation that all faculty members specializing in the sciences produce and publish scientific re-search. In his proposal to MSU-B, Barron stated, "The primary goal of this project is to describe, in detail, the daily movement patterns, home ranges, temperature profiles and habitat associations of Phgnosonia hernadesi, through detailed tracking using radio-telemetric equipment." In other words, the little buggers are tagged and tracked to find out See REPTILE ROMP pg. 6 Jacket Basketball Wins Disappointment at Championship Page 20 Gay Student Speaks His Mind Page 23 Graphic courtesy of Dr. Matthew Benacquista LISA will detect bends in space. coSINCE 1959 THE VOICE OF MONTANA STA Tuesday, March 14, 2006 Popular NA Studies Prof Set to Retire Page 3 Inter-Tribal Indian Club Prepares for Pow Wow Page 4 What's Mjollnir? Find Out Page 14 Life is either ("real adventurell ✓ or nothing. Helen Keller ERSITY-BILLINGS Volume 77,Issue 9 Career Fitness Workout at MSU-Billings NICOLE LIVER NIONT Pima* Editor-) Students and community members attended the ninth an-nual Career Fitness- Fair on Thursday, February 23 from noon to 4:00 pm held in the ball-room of the Student Union Building at MSU-Billings. At the fair, there were more than 60 employers welcoming pro-spective employees and interns. The goal of the fair is for stu-dents to gauge a good idea of what employers are looking for in new employees that are soon to graduate or working on a de-gree. The employers answered questions like what do students need to be studying for specific jobs, what employers find to be the most valuable assets to re-tain from the college experience and other tips for guidance. The Career Fair also gave students the opportunity to network with employers and apply for pos-sible jobs and internships. The fair also came equipped with workshops from noon to 4:30. The workshops were "Be an Interview Super-star; Brad and Angelina Re- See CAREERS pg. 5 A Shining Star at MSU-Billings NICOLE LIVERMONT Photo Liditor Light-years of progress are being made in the field of space knowledge. The gleam-ing star to be found around cam-pus is Dr. Matthew Benaquista. Dr. Benaquista has been a pro-fessor of Physics at MSU-Bill-ings since 1988 and there is no end in sight. He has an impres-sive resume that boasts being the Chair of the Task Force on Ga-lactic Binary Populations and is part of the LISA International Science Team. To break it down, he's an astrophysicist working on a La-ser Interferometer Space An-tenna (LISA). LISA is going to be put in orbit to measure grav-ity waves in space. When large massive objects move, it makes space time move due to the change in distance. The antenna will chart the bends in space. LISA consists of three space crafts that will form an equilat-eral triangle to orbit the sun. The triangles will be on their own in-dependent orbit but will stay syn-chronized to a distance of three million miles from one another. The spacecrafts will bounce around a laser that will consist of a certain wave frequency. When the wave changes fre-quency the scientists will be able to gauge the distance the mas-sive space objects have moved. It may sound simple, but you're being fooled. The dis-tance that an object in spaceis about "the distance of half of a hydrogen atom" explained Benaquista. This distance is so minuscule that it can only be measured by testing the fre-quency of a wave. LISA's sister antenna is a ground antenna of much a smaller magnitude. The idea is similar but the antenna is on the ground somewhere in Washington state. Benaquista is See STAR pg. 4 Visit The Retort Online at vvvvw.msubillings.edu/retort Country Gir In the City etirtYft 1500 University Drive SUB 225 Billings, Montana 59101 Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194 Fax: 406-657-2191 E-mail: email@example.com The Retort Staff Editor in-Chief Business Manager Faculty Advisor Layout Editor Ad Manager Copy Editor News Editor A & E Editor Sports Editor Photo Editor Creativity Editor Reporter Reporter Photographer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Cartoonist Columnist Olivia Koernig Yacine Zerizef Nancy Swanson Dana Livermont Niki Porter Amanda Patterson Betsy Harris Melissa DeVries Jed Barton Nicole Livermont VACANTT Brie Radovich VACANT Matt Langman Paul Jangula Miranda Breding Jessica Wade Nate Petterson Dan Hansen Mike Schrage Guideline & Policies The Retort encourages the submission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Re-tort is published twice a month. Letters must be submit-ted by the Friday after the most recnt issue date. The Retort is made possible in part by student fees allocated by ASMSU-Billings. The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opin-ions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the university, students, nor student, state, or federal governments. I feel like I am end-lessly pontificating on the finer points of campus in-volvement. One reason for this feeling could be that I am, in fact, endlessly pon-tificating on the finer points of campus involvement. Or, maybe I feel this way be-cause campus involvement is a topic of continued and undervalued importance. Beyond adding a line to your resume, fos-tering new friendships and becoming a part of something bigger than yourself, in-volvement with campus organizations has other attractive, yet unsung rewards. I spent five days in Los Angeles re-cently. Why should you care, you ask? Well, because you paid for my trip. Hold on, I'm not bragging simply for the sake of making you feel small and unimpor-tant or ripped off. Rather, I am attempt-ing to share what I've learned with those of you who made my experience possible. And if this prompts someone to join a campus organization, well, that wouldn't suck. One of the perks of belonging to an organization is the possibility to attend conferences and/or conventions where in-valuable learning can be accessed. I have friends who spent two days at Chico Hot Springs last month on your dime, too. I'm not kidding about this campus involve-ment thing, man. I was fortunate enough to have one such opportunity as well when, along with, three other Retort staff members, I flew to Los Angeles for a college newspaper convention. We went to workshops and lectures in addition to attending keynote addresses given by a Pulitzer Prize win-ning cartoonist, a Pulitzer winning jour-nalist and an AP reporter. Thanks, ASMSU-B. The convention lasted three days and we met students from big and small college newspapers from across the U.S. and Canada. What we got was a grab bag of information and ideas which we are ex-cited to incorporate into The Retort (you may notice some of them in this very is-sue!). One thing we saw was that there are other staffs as small and disorganized as ours. We also saw that there are some extremely impressive daily newspapers put out by some of the bigger journalism schools. There were lessons to be taken away from all of them. I though it might be fun to create a list of " Four Things I Learned in California at the Expense of the Student Body." #1 Fontana is a city in the LA val-ley. Of course the meetings for the con-vention did not last all day. When the day's lectures adjourned, hundreds of us college newspaper nerds were unleashed on LA. While exploring and taking in some of the culture available (ever heard "Baby Got Back" accompanied by a pi-ano?), we met many locals. I was mildly disheartened and wildly amused to dis-cover that in spite of Ted Kaczynski and the Freemen, Montana isn't that well known to some of our fellow members of the union. Some of my favorite responses to where we came from are the follow-ing: "Fontana, huh?" I came to learn that Fontana is a reputedly white trash city in San Bernardino County that a local morn-ing show affectionately refers to as `Fontucky.' No, thank you,, we are not from Fontana. "Montana? What state is that in?" I only wish I was kidding. "Montana? I've heard of that place. Isn't it kinda like Colorado?" If you mean in the sense that both are states in the U.S., then yes, I guess it is kinda like Colo-rado. "Montana? Don't you guys have the Ozarks?" Ummm, no. #2 You really do get to see famous people in LA. So on the plane ride down I was looking at a magazine article that was shamelessly exploiting the anatomy of Olympic Speed Skater Apolo Anton Ohno. The very next day waiting for the shuttle outside of our hotel, who did I chance to see? That's right—Mr. Ohno himself. I have pictures to prove it for anyone inter-ested; and we are in love. #3 Public transportation is both a bane and a boon. Following our $90 cab ride from LAX to our hotel in Universal City, we resolved to not take any more cab rides. Fortunately, LA has an infant subway sys-tem known as the Metro rail. To make life without a car better for Southern Califor-nians, the Metro also has a number of bus lines which can be accessed from the rail stops. I've lived here for almost 20 years, and if you haven't noticed, Montana isn't exactly current on the public transporta-tion thing. However, we pretty much mas-tered the system by the end of the trip. This was proven when we spent five hours on the rail and bus lines one day in order to enjoy two and a half hours at Venice Beach. Another example was how com-fortable we started to feel standing wedged between a sedentary mosh pit of complete strangers while white knuckling an overhead railing inside a bus traveling at speeds of 40 MPH in between stops which occur approximately every city block. The upside is that we could ride all Metro lines for $3 a day. #4 Operators of public transpor-tation systems are soulless you-know-what- holes. This fact was brought to my atten-tion during our $90 cab ride. While spend-ing more than an hour with our less-than-gracious Russian born driver, one of the other staff members tried unsuccessfully to make small talk with said person. Ap-parently, $3.20 a mile does not buy one out of uncomfortable silence and blatant rudeness. Good to know; polite conver-sation costs extra. This truism became more apparent while riding the Metro buses. Transferring busses is actually a lot more complicated than it might seem, especially for people who are completely ignorant of their sur-roundings. Of the seven bus drivers we encountered, all but two shouted, belittled and otherwise offended riders, ourselves included. Now, we only rode three buses, but we sure did board six different buses. Whatever. Those are some of the things I learned outside of the convention. Look for the other newspaper-related issues which will be sprinkled throughout up-coming issues of The Retort. Thanks again! oCkAruLi PAGE 2•THE RETORT Photo courtesy of Dr C. Adrian Heidenreich Dr. Heidenreich while doing field work. Photo courtesy of Dr C. Adrian Heidenreicl Dr. Heidenreich poses in front of buffalo on Native Land. Organic Foods • Take Out Deli • Healthy Snacks We Have Moved Our New l_ccdticn 311)24 2nd Ave. N • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • CENTER, LANES • WEEK ND wARmor 9 FM EVERY Tt-ILIK.5DAY Nic,t-n- 1- lArrY I-IC:X.1K FROM .9 FM TO CL0511 51-10W YOUR COLLE_GE. ID AND GE:f D1.5C.OUN-1 5 ON 1!)OWLING ITLY DRINK AND SI IOT 5rn_ciAL.5, Ctir_Ar DRAFT ES F,F.R AND AN INT ERNE,TJUKF1S<DX! SQ DROr TIIE.M 1500K-5 AND COME. ON DOWN! CE_NTE_R. LANE_5 I 09 NOR1-1-1 50TI-1 2.52.81-5 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • NEWS & CAMPUS LIFE A Desire for Creativity Prompts Retirment An Icon in Native American Studies is Set to Retire PAUL JANGULA Sksjf Urrrifr There comes a time in everyone's life when you look back, and reflect on your ONN11 his-tory. One gets a grand sense of accomplishment and the knowl-edge that you have made a differ-ence to scores of students and friends through diligence and hard work. This kind of reflection is earned in time. and MSU-B has a number of faculty that have the right to such a claim. It is unfor-tunate that the kind of accomplish-ment referred to here takes so much time to accumulate, and af-ter so much time there comes a time to pass the responsibility and opportunity of shaping young minds to another. Dr. C. Adrian Heidenreich in the Department of History, Po-litical Science, and Native Ameri-can Studies is retiring after 29 years of service to this fine insti-tution. Dr. Heidenreich received an Associate of Arts degree with work in Social Science and Life Science from American River College California. He received a Bachelor of Arts in Anthropol-ogy from California State Univer-sity at Sacramento and Master of Arts and a Ph.D. in Anthropol-ogy from the University of Or-egon. His master's thesis dealt with the religious aspects of the 1890 Ghost Dance. His Ph.D. dissertation focused on the effects that early visiting artists had on the Crow Native Americans. Heidenreich had also completed study in English. Archaeology, Biology, Visual Communica-tions, and had contemplated en-trance into the Seminary to study Theology. When asked about the broad range of course study Heidenreich said that he aspired to be a Renaissance man, to know all that is knowable. In this, the information age, the Internet fills daily with new discoveries that no one person can completely as-similate. Dr. Heidenreich at-tempted as complete a journey as possible in his specified interests. Dr. Heidenreich used his unique education to instruct stu-dents for four decades. He spent one year as the Post-doctoral Fel-low at the Smithsonian Institute, and then spent nine years at Rocky Mountain College. He then came to work at Eastern Montana College, which is now MSU-B. He received the distin-guished professor award in 1983, and in 2002 the MSU-B Inter-tribal Indian Club awarded Heidenreich a plaque. "In Rec-ognition of Your Outstanding Continued Support of Our Club." Heidenreich said he is most proud of his sponsorship and association with the Inter-tribal Indian Club. The Club Pow-Wow is the largest student sponsored event on campus. Heidenreich's involvement with the Native American culture is extensive. Another point of pride is his adoption into the Heywood and Mary Lou Big Day family in the Crow (Apsaalooke) Tribe, where his name is Duxxiiadeeitche which means Goes to War in a Good Way. Dr. Heidenreich's expertise in Native American Studies has given him the necessary experi- • release them on PBS, the History Channel, the Science Channel and other documentary formatted broadcasters. Heidenreich would like to spend more time with his families, and attend Native American events. He wants to attend a sweat lodge event, and the Dance of Universal Peace of which his wife, Constance, is a participant. He also is scheduled to teach a few classes at MSU-B after his retirement. He won't have a full load of classes, but his unique expertise will still be available. "I'm going to be re-tiled not tired," he said with a smile. Dr. Heidenreich is opening a new chapter in his life to explore his creative energy and make greater contributions in his speci-fied fields. He says what he will miss the most is the daily contact with his students, and which will certainly be missed by by his stu-dents as well. ence to publish over 30 publica-tions, reports, and papers. Among his most notable are the 1982 "Baasaxpilua: Northern Plains Celebration," a video film on Crow Fair, the 1992 program for "49," a play by Hanay Geiogamah working with the EMC Commu-nication Arts Department and Na-tive American Studies program, and most recently the 2005 Map of the Historical Crow Nation and its Connection to the Great North-west. Once retired. Heidenreich plans to travel and pursue more projects for publication. In the next year or two a book dealing with Lewis and Clark's, mostly Clark's, involvement in the first treaty expeditions to the Northern Plains and their impact on the Native American tribes they came in contact with is due to be pub-lished. He also plans to make documentary films and hopes to • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • THE RETOIll• PAGE 3 Photo courtesy of Dr. Jeffrey Sanders Native American dancers join together for the Grand Entry. N1 t i 1 d \- Microbrews are Bac h 5 0 Beers from Around The World Join the Club!!! v-1/-4 11.161"terlqi€: 4PP".; n e 41. Domestic Draft m lam Specials MSU-Billings Intercollegiate Pow Wow Coming Up ouvin KOERNIG 13alizaw4s-Cbisr Have you ever wondered where the money from the "and fees" portion of tuition and fees actually goes? The money goes into a fund controlled by ASMSU-B. The fund is used then to back things like The Retort, travel for student organizations and clubs to con-ventions, and to put on activities like the annual Easter egg hunt. One of the more STAR from pg. 1 also involved with this project. Tricky business. It is a good thing there are qualified individuals. A little background on Benaquista starts with his school-ing. He earned his undergraduate from Reed College in Portland, Oregon and recieve his Ph.D. at Montana State University Bozeman. After landing in Mon-tana to complete his education, Dr. Benaquista joined the professors at MSU-Billings as a professor of physics. He started work for NASA in 1995 with a 10 week Summer Faculty Fellowship and has been working with them since. His present LISA project is tentatively set to launch in 2017 or 2018. We can also expect his absence in late March while he is on a trip to En-gland to check out and analyze some astronomical data. Lots of travel, lots of science, and a little fun in between. MSU-Billings can be proud to call Dr. Benaquista one of its own. colorful and culturally significant (and the largest) ASMSU-B-sponsored events is the Inter-tribal Indian Club (ITIC) Pow Wow. The 38th Annual MSU-B Pow wow will be March 30 and April 1 at the Metra Park Expo Center. MSU-Billings students gain free admission when they present their U-card. Director of Multicultural Student Services and Adviser of ITIC Quentin Gilham said it's going to be "a big one." Last year's Pow Wow saw about 3,000 in attendance. This year, Gilham expects to see at least that many, and probably more. "It's billed as the largest intercol-legiate Pow Wow in the west," said Gilham. "I've got people calling from all over for this." For those who may not know, Gilham explained the pow wow as a large gathering of vendors and displays of American Indian art and culture. He said there will be artwork and artifacts for sale both days. Vendors are people from all over the nation who travel the pow wow circuit peddling their wares. Of course, the largest component of a pow wow is the drummers and danc-ers. The ITIC Pow Wow will feature the usual dance categories (fancy, grass, tra-ditional, jingle, etc.) along with some specials which are unique to this area, like the Crow style. Dr. Jeff Sanders of the Dept. of History, Native American Studies, Po-litical Science and Sociology said the event has "great performance value." He said the pow wow is a cultural event, much like the Cinco de Mayo gathering in South Park. "This is not a sacred event; this is a social event," said Sanders. "It's a cel-ebration of Native American culture and pride." The grand entries will be at 12 p.m. and 6 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. Gilham said he thinks this is one of the most im-pressive parts of the weekend. The grand entry is basically what the name implies. It's a parade of sorts, led by a color guard, followed by drummers and dance contestants. "When you see it you'll think, `Wow. They've been doing this for thou-sands of years," said Gilham. ITIC has about 30 members, all of whom will be visible during the pow wow. Gilham said the group will be re-sponsible for the usual event manage-ment matters. He said they'll be taking entries, selling raffle tickets and even judging categories. Part of the excitement about this year's event is because of the host drum-mers. One group, White Fish Jrs. hail from Saskatchewan, and the other group, Southern Boyz, are from Chattanooga, OK. Gilham said that the drummers are really well known within the pow wow circuit and have developed quite a fol-lowing. In his opinion, the host drum-mers are the most integral ingredient when planning a pow wow. Since the host drummers are so widely aniticipated, Gilham expects the event to be a success. - Dr. Sanders said that in the past, very few non-Indian residents have at-tended. He said he'd definitely like to see more MSU-Billings students and Billings residents out this year. "Anyone interested in music, dance, rhythm, color or art ought to go," said Sanders. PAGE 4•THE RETORT Photo courtesy of Dennis Nettiksimmons Prof Nettiksimmons jams during a recent show. r 1•11•0101 1 I Help Save A Lift, - Donate Plasma Today I Each month you can receive up to I LIB iotite $20 I Present this ad for a $5 Bonus on your first donation 306•655•4927 • 2300 Grant Rd. • Billinus, MT .11 P01.1 11: 111111-C)inribliit NIKI PORTER. _Amos A/imager Well the only thing I can think of to explain the lack of crime lately is the recent on-slaught of midterms here on campus. It seems students were too busy studying to create the usual havoc, but never fear- we still managed to have a few oc-currences, not the least being a newfound need for a campaign to make MSU-B a urine-free campus! It seems we keep hav-ing the same problems each se-mester what with the pee pee and the porn and the hey hey and the pain and the ouch! (fans of the Professor Frink know what I'm talking about) Well anyway, here you go. It ain't much and it ain't pretty. 2-11 An officer found a student urinating in the Rimrock parking lot and of course, when asked how much he had to drink, the response was "just two beers." An MIP and citation for public intoxication were issued. 2-13 A person who is not a student was caught red handed looking at porn in the commons area of the library. On top of that, an inquiry was made and officers discovered that the offender is listed on the state sexual/violent offender registry. 2-18 A couple of citations were issued during a traffic stop in the Rimrock park-ing lot for obstructing an officer. 2-18 Somebody snuck into the men's basketball locker room during a game and absconded with a couple of play-ers' wallets. So. Not. Cool. 3-2 Officers were called to one of the off campus family homes and a PFMA was issued with a no contact order. 3-4 Another dis-turbance behind a family home rental, this time it was some late night revelers in the alley. Of-ficers kindly asked them to move on and they kindly com-plied. Yeehaw. That's it friends. Until next time, you know the drill. P.S. Shout out to Matt Harris just for the hell of it. (Olivia has started a trend, once again) Beyond the Blackboard: Dr. Nettiksimmons BETSY HARRIS News Ettilibr The first thing that inevitably comes up when you mention Profes-sor Nettiksimmons is "Where did he get that name?" The answer is actu-ally very simple. It is a combination of his last name and his ex-wife's last name. That in itself is the first clue that this is not your every day college professor. Nettiksimmons has taught at MSU-B on and off for at least 10 years. He is currently a University Lecturer in the University Honors Program, En-vironmental Studies, the English/Phi-losophy Department, and Political Sci-ence Department. He also holds a law degree and practices occasionally. After talking with Nettiksimmons, one would think there must be at least 30 hours in his days because it is virtually impossible to do what he does in just 24. Aside from teaching full-time at MSU-B, Nettiksimmons participates in at least four musical collaborations. Nettiksimmons is in a jazz quar-tet called "Four or More" that plays at The Den on Wednesday nights from 8- 11 pm. He is in a band called "Battlestar Kramden" that can best be described as playing music with a 'wink and a nod.' They play cover tunes in origi-nal ways such as a bluegrass version of Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" and a reggae version of "Smoke on the Wa-ter." It's nothing out-of-the-ordinary for Kramden to throw a bit of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" into "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones. Nettiksimmons also plays with a band called "Dan Page and the Barncats." It's an American-rock/folk/ country-type band. While the guitar is his main instrument, for the Barncats he plays the steel guitar as well as the mandolin. The Barncats will be play-ing on March 17 at 9 p.m. at the Fort Rockvale Casino south of Laurel. Nettiksimmons plays finger style solo guitar in coffee houses around town and records his own music under the name Descant Null. Nettiksimmons has been playing guitar since he was a sophomore in high school. He grew up in Montana. While his forte is playing the guitar, he has recently taken up the steel guitar and even playing with the accordion a bit. He enjoys playing in bands and de-scribes it as "performing for people in a dramatic way." He enjoys the energy, camaraderie and creativity that musi-cians playing together can create. In true rock-and-roll fashion, Nettiksimmons didn't seek out bands to join but they "just happened." A few guys jammin' together and the next thing you know, he's in three bands. Sounds NOT like a professor-type at all, but that's the purpose of "Beyond the Blackboard," to crush the stereotype of "the professor," which Nettiksimmons does nicely. To recap the reason Nettiksimmons bids one to think his days must be longer than the rest of ours. He occasionally works at a law firm, teaches full time, is remarried, does yoga, is a Netflix documentary freak(even though he hasn't seen the penguin one!) and he plays in FOUR different musical conglomerations. Wow. Check out one of his perfor-mances and you surely won't be dis-appointed. CAREERS from pg. 1 hearse, and You Should, Too" that ad-dressed a checklist of things to help prep for that important interview. Another workshop was "Creative Information Technology Careers, Innovative Options Using Two and Four Year Degrees" for the new communication age. There was also "The Customer is Always Right, Tips on Providing Stellar Customer Ser-vice" and "Shape Up Your Health Care Career, Explore Sports Medicine, Physi-cal Therapy and More." The fifth work-shop was "Careers Always Match Ma-jors or Not, Looking Beyond the Obvi-ous to Find a Career" being the last workshop in the line up. Some of the advice to be gained came from possible employers like Western Security Bank whose represen-tative said, "We take anybody that has customer experience with any type of degree." The recruiter explained that any degree helps with getting a banking li-cense and not only business and finance majors can get jobs; they're open to ev-eryone. The Navy said it offers good careers and prefer universities like MSU-Billings because "it's a smaller crowd, so we get better quality." They said that most of the students they talked to had an average GPA of 3.2, unusually high for a career fair situation. Other employ-ers commented on how GPA was not very important; it's all about experience. Get involved and build a network with people skills and you're on your way. Beyond workshops and career guidance, students could go to the ca-reer fair for free stuff and we all know that college students love anything that's free. From spare pens and pencils to squishy balls and other handy little toys like Frisbees and ice scrapers or mints, free goodies were given out by almost every business. Some of the businesses in attendance were Western Security Bank, Wal-Mart, FedEx, National Credit Union Administration, Target, US Army, US Navy, Napa and Billings Clinic. Each annual career fair brings new op-portunity for students as well as an ar-ray of free necessities for every student to enjoy. THE RETORT* PAGE 5 Photo by Nicole Livermont Dr. McGinnis has worked to allow better research on campus. CRUSTAL LOUNGE' th lef • CASINO DOWNTOWN BILLINGS Ern Cunningham Playing 60's, 70's & 80's Blues & Rock-N-Roll 9 -Close Thur-Sat Karaoke 9-Close Sun-Wed Large Variety Poker & Keno Machines T Packaged Liquor To-Go $ Great Drink Prices * Out of Town Checks Welcome 41, UEEN of 4 EARTS *CARD CLUB BEST LIVE POKER ACTION IN TOWN 411° IN THE QUEEN OF HEARTS CARD ROOM Yamileth Mathieu • Card Room Proprietor 4 • 4 • 4 • DO YOU CARE': THEM" CET INVOLVED! • 70-ii cat e .thout did cot of tiepin? ArAut not being kle to gruluat, a3 nat? Da you care thaw an ngy cantervattan and rec7ctine Cn yot czar about:mar of noire` you case thErut near air and wave Are you an autdrar roR eCr 1.1 ta rvaramtrarni AP! you raticemod s hit btalt1 (7 UT fa you acnd 7avr fan:idyl Would you likt trawl dettaana unp4:tirsg 59u and your bratty 6ar yews rf, camel If yas say yea to e-aan ate of 'base que.rnan THEN (;ET LIWOLVEDI Nrrocratc d3. STse fterremrtsm, loleake Eteskser. and the VIllorrtane C MOT Derma:mac Perry. are teermg valuntc,:r and twain aanartant nr3 for Irrkrroed atuarnhe :avl &IDA v./ If You Weald LIU To Make a DIETtrettia, CALL 245-7216 fat forlhor tortartnartan • dt57.2711D ar taaapaL YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! More Funding Yields More Research AMANDA PATItRSON Gag/ ndator Professors are getting out of the classroom and into the field. The Grants and Sponsored Programs Office has raised more money in a six-month period than has been raised in any other full year. Under the management of directors Dr. David McGinnis and John Walsh there has been an increase in funding for re-search projects. With increased funding, professors have more of an op-portunity to conduct research in their field of study. Walsh notes, "Our goal is to get people funded so they can do the work they want to do." There have already been 49 proposals in the first six months of the fiscal year. McGinnis explains, "We have a lot of good stuff going right here... We want to become the third research university in the state." Local Researcher Scopes out Yellowstone In conjunction with rais-ing money for research projects, Dr. David McGinnis is no stranger to field work. McGinnis has been conducting research on climatology and ecosystems for the past 10 years. McGinnis was asked to present research on the ecosystem in Yellowstone Na-tional Park at the American As-sociation for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in St. Louis, MO. McGinnis teamed up with Dr. David Bennett, associate professor of geography at the University of Iowa, for the re-search project in Yellowstone. The study investigated the eco-system in the Park. They were concerned with the interactions between elk, wolves and people. The researchers noted, "Too of-ten, these investigations focus on natural ecosystem processes while excluding human pres-ence." They explain that when wolves were introduced the elk population declined and vegeta-tion began to grow rapidly. The National Science Foundation Biocomplexity- Couple Natural-Human Systems program funded the project. Be-sides the effect of wolf introduc-tion, the program encompassed human decisions on land-use change, hunter behaviors, cli-mate and snow, elk population dynamics and migration routes, and willow and aspen growth patterns. Being selected to present his findings at the AAAS is an extreme honor. The selection process for the meeting is very exclusive. McGinnis now seeks to help other faculty members create their own research projects through the Grants and Sponsored Programs Office. Over the past 10 years, McGinnis has been a senior in-vestigator on nearly $2 million of funded research. McGinnis has been to many places. He worked at the University of Ari-zona, Idaho State University, the University of Iowa, and the University of Colorado. He earned his masters and Ph.D at Pennsylvania State University and was awarded the Warren G. Nystrom award for Best Disser-tation in Geography from the Association of American Geog-raphers in 1996. REPTILE ROMP from pg. 1 where they go and what they do. Barron is attempting to answer some tough questions about the lizards in particu-lar, and about life-science in general, such as "Why do we see reproductive birth pat-tems the way we do?" and, 'Does what we observe fit our theories?' Because these are such far-reaching questions, his study is long-term. Barron plans to study the lizards for a minimum of five years in order to draw some meaningful conclusions from his data "I think there is a real place in science for long-term field studies," said Barron when asked about the basic necessity for such a project "Good science raises more ques-tions than it answers," he said. Barron worked alone the first year of his project, scouring his field site east of the Pryor Mountains near the Montana-Wyo-ming border. "I basically stumbled onto my field site," he recalled. "I discovered it by acci-dent." Last summer, however, he acquired a research partner to assist him thanks to a teacher-partner grant from MSU-B. Ben Larson, a biology teacher at Senior High School, volunteered to lend a hand in locat-ing and tagging the lizards Together, they spei id six hours a day, five days a week walk-ing up and down their field site looking for the reptiles. "It averages out to about six lizards per day," Barron says. "I've found about 200 over two years. That's a lot of lizards." He notes that there seems to be a lower survival rate among males, perhaps because they are more conspicuous to predators. Also, there is almost no visible migration in the tagged lizards, which is remarkable among reptiles in general. Anectdotal evi-dence also suggests that the population of Phrynosoma hernadesi is on the decline; however, more data is needed to draw any • long-term conclusions. The species has been placed under the heading of "a Species of Special Concern," which is similar to — though not nearly as severe as — an endan-gered species. Dr. James Barron earned a B.S. in Geophysics from Purdue in 1982, and worked as a geophysicist for Tenneco Oil Co. in Lafayette, LA from 1982 to 1989. He received his PhD. in Zoology from Indiana University in 1995. 101 North 28th Street • Billings, Montana 406.259.0010 PAGE 6•THE RETORT Photos courtesy of MSU-B News Service Weitz (Top) and Roney will compete at Nationals. IIII MSU-B Music Students Named Divisional Young Artist Winners Jacquelyn Weitz and Briane Roney to Compete Nationally This Month • MSU-BILLINGS NEWS SER-VICE — Two music students in the Mon-tana State University-Billings Depart-ment of Music recently won coveted music awards. Jacquelyn Weitz, pianist, and Brianne Roney, mezzo-soprano, were named Young Artist winners in the Music Teachers National Association (MTNA) Northwest Divisional Compe-titions, held in Portland, Ore., qualify-ing them to be among seven competi-tors at the national competition later this month in Austin, Texas.Jacquelyn Weitz, from Billings, is a senior with a double major in piano performance and vocal performance. Jacquelyn has a long list of musi-cal accomplishments. As a pianist, she won both the High School and Colle-giate division of the Montana Associa-tion of Symphony Orchestras' Young Artist Competition. In spring 2003, she was a finalist in the Pinault International Competition and was awarded first place in the state division of the Music Teach-ers National Association Young Artist Competition. She was the first-place winner of the Missoula Symphony Association's Young Artist Competition in February 2004, which garnered her two solo pi-ano performances with the Missoula Symphony that same month. Jacquelyn has been successful in national and international piano compe-titions as well. In April 2004, Jacquelyn won the Aurora Symphony Orchestra Concerto Competition, held in Boulder, Colo., and per-formed Rachmaninoff's "Third Concerto in D Minor" with the Aurora Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Maestro Richard Niezen, that May. It is a pianist's dream to be one of only 24 chosen out of hun-dreds of applicants to participate in the Young Artists Program at the prestigious Van Cliburn Institute in Fort Worth, Texas. Jacquelyn's dream was realized not only once, in the summer of 2004, but an unheard of twice, as she was cho-sen again to participate in the 2005 Van Cliburn Institute. In November 2004, Jacquelyn was chosen as one of only 30 students, worldwide, and the only student from the United States, to compete in the Young Artists Compe-tition of the Netherlands, where over 20 countries were represented. Jacquelyn is a piano student of MSU-Billings Music Professor Dorothea Cromley. Brianne Roney, a junior vocal per-formance major from Cody, Wyo., made her solo debut in the Rimrock Opera's production of Verdi's "La Traviata," as Flora. She was a member of the Rimrock Opera En-semble in "Nosferatu" and "La Boheme." This past summer, she sang the roles of Sister Dolcina/ First Touriere in "Sister Angelica" with Rimrock Opera's One Act Festival. Before coming to MSU-Billings, Brianne performed and competed in everything from the local to international lev-els in dance, instrumen-tal, vocal, and theatrical presentations. She stud-ied tap, jazz, modern, and ballet for 14 years at the Cody Center for the Performing Arts. Brianne is a vocal student of Lesley Jorden. From the stage to the MSU-Billings tennis court, Brianne is equally talented. For the past two years, she has played #1 singles for the MSU-Billings tennis team. She was a two-time Wyo-ming state champion in #1 singles, un-defeated her last year. The MTNA Young Artist Compe-tition is a prestigious event held each year, for college music students, during the MTNA national conference. The na-tional winner of this competition re-ceives a cash prize and will perform in a Winners' Concert during the confer-ence. Students pursuing undergraduate, master's and doctoral degrees all are eli-gible for the competition. The three-tiered MTNA competitions begin at the state level. Winners of each state com-petition advance to the divisional stage and then proceed to the national compe-tition finals. The Northwest Division is comprised of colleges and universities from Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Wash-ington, Oregon and Alaska. The MTNA is a non-profit orga-nization comprising 24,000 independent and collegiate music teachers commit-ted to advancing the value of music study and music making to society. Founded in 1876, MTNA is the oldest profes-sional music teachers' association in the United States. During the past three years, the MSU-Billings Department of Music has sent students to the MTNA national com-petition. Irene Duke, a clarinetist and a 2005 MSU-Billings music graduate, par-ticipated in the national competition in both 2004 and 2005. She was a student of MSU-Billings Music Professor Dr. Gary Behm, chairman of MSU-Billings Department of Music. March Madness with the Billings Bulls!! Wednesday, March 8th vs. Bozeman Icedogs, 7:05 p.m. Friday, March 10th vs. Helena Bighorns , 7:05 p.m. Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants makes his annual trip to the Bulls hockey game! - Smokey Bear will also be on hand to pass out 1,000 pucks to fans! Saturday March lith vs. Bozeman icedogs, 7:05 p.m. Napa Night! - Napa will be on hand to pass out T-shirts & a $100 gift certificate! Sunday, March 19th vs. Bismarck Bobcats, 3:05 p.m. Wednesday, March 22nd vs. Minnesota Blizzard, 7:05 p.m. Friday, March 24th vs. Minnesota Blizzard, 7:05 p.m. - Final Regular Season Game - Bulls take to the ice for the final time in 05/06 regular season! - Bulls annual jersey auction takes place directly following the game! - Skate with the Bulls directly following the game as well! THE RETORTe PAGE 7 Photo courtesy of www.msubillings.edu Chancellor Sexton's contributions to MSU-B are numerous. Chancellor Sexton Unanimous Selection for Award MSU-BILLINGS NEWS SERVICE – Dr. Ronald P. Sexton, chancellor of Montana State Uni-versity- Billings, was the unani-mous choice of a selection com-mittee, from a broad field of col-lege and university presidents throughout the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada, to receive the prestigious Distinguished Leader-ship Award for the District VIII Council for the Advancement and Support of Higher Education Chancellor Sexton was accompa-nied by his family, friends and col-leagues from MSU-Billings when he accepted the award Friday, Feb-ruary 24, at a banquet in his honor, in Vancouver, B.C. It was noted in his commen-dation that since becoming chan-cellor of MSU-Biffirip-in- 1995, "Chancellor Sexton has created an innovative vision for Montana State University-Billings that has in-spired others to embrace it and to act on it. The result has been an exponential increase in educational service to the community and an enhanced stature in the region." In the face of higher educa-tion funding challenges and de-clines in high school graduation rates, Chancellor Sexton was praised "for transthnuing" MSU-Billings. While acting chancellor in 1994, he initiated the university's first campus-wide strategic plan-ning effort, "leading, the way to achieving those strategic initiatives and more." Here are a few highlights of his tenure as chancellor that gar-nered for him this prestigious award: Two-Year Education. Chancellor Sexton was the first uni-versity administrator to publicly challenge Montana leaders to fo-cus attention and resources on two-year post-secondary education. He boldly pioneered a campaign of awareness and a call for change, working to gather community and legislative support, resulting in: -The evolution of the MSU-Billings College ofTechnology into a comprehensive community col-lege to better serve the needs of the region. -A Montana University Sys-tern Shared Leadership Initiative, highlighting two-year post-second-ary education. o Montana leg-islative approval of a $29.5 million bond issue for capital improve-ments on two-year campuses. -Legislative approval of $3 million for equipment upgrades on Montana two-year campuses, with $1 million allocated to the MSU-Billings College of Technology. o A nearly $2 million grant from the U.S. Department of Labor to de-velop training programs for the construction industry at the MSU-Billings College ofTechnology. As a result, a new program in construc-tion trades at the MSU-Billings College of Technology will be up and running this year. -ATwo-Year College Coun-cil created by the Montana Board of Regents. Because of Chancellor Sexton's ceaseless efforts, the people in the greater-Billings com-munity will be able to watch one of MSU-Billings' biggest success stories, as a new academic build-ing takes shape at the MSU-Bill-ings College ofTechnology. By fall 2007, the new building will be ready for its first group of students. By earmarking $9 million for this project, the 2005 Legisla-ture and Governor Brian Schweitzer extended a tremendous vote of confidence in MSU-Bill-ings for the endless possibilities presented by two-year education in health care, construction trades, transportation, computer and en-ergy- related technical fields. Under Chancellor Sexton's stewardship, the MSU-Billings College of Technology has been expanding its role and scope in or-der to address continued workforce development and two-year educa-tion needs across the greater-Bill-ings area, eastern Montana and the state, preparing to better serve the students and employers of tomor- TOW. Last fall, more than 1,000 students, a record enrollment, were studying at the MSU-Billing Col-lege of Technology, in medical technology, automotive technol-ogy, computer/systems analysis, power plant technology and other high-demand areas. The College of Allied Health Professions was estab-lished by Chancellor Sexton to re-spond to the needs of Billings' 10,000-person medical commu-nity, clustering degree programs in three critical areas: o Health Administration; o Health and Human Performance; and o Re-habilitation and Human Services. The College of Profes-sional Studies and Lifelong Learning was established by Chancellor Sexton to respond to the changing academic needs of con-stituents, resulting in: -MSU-Billings Online, the largest distance-education progam in Montana, with 10 degree options from certificates through master's, serving more than 7,000, annually. -The Office of Training and Development, which offers cus-tomized educational programming for business and industry. -Community Partnerships that are fostered at the CPSLL's Downtown Campus, where expan-sion and renovation provide easier access to higher education for 11,000 downtown workers. -Leadership Montana – Dr. Sexton was one of the founders of this statewide trusteeship program, a cooperative venture of business, industry, and civic leaders. -Big Sky Economic Devel-opment Authority – In February 2006, Chancellor Sexton became chairman of the Big Sky Economic Development Authority Board of Directors, bridging a critical part-nership between the university, business, industry, community and state. A comprehensive, five-year, $21 million "People, Pride & Promise" Campaign is in its fourth year. Chancellor Sexton has been deeply involved. He identi-fies, cultivates, solicits and stewards donors; encourages deans and other administrators to do the same; in-spires campaign volunteers; and has set an example by making his own financial investment. International Outreach. Chancellor Sexton established a partnership with Anjo International Business School in Japan and Jilin University in China to provide dis-tance accounting education for Japanese students and exchange opportunities for MSU-Billings students and faculty. Chancellor Sexton's life has been one of service to MSU-Bill-ings, its students and the state. He began his half-century commit-ment when he stepped onto the campus of Eastern Montana Col-lege, the predecessor of MSU-Bill-ings, as a freshman, in the mid- 1950s, graduating in 1959 with a bachelor of science degree in social sciences and history, and a minor in health, physical education and recreation. In 1964, he earned the master of sci-ence degree in guidance and counseling, with a mi-nor in psychology, from EMC. After being awarded a doctor of phi-losophy- education degree from the University or Or-egon in 1971, Dr. Sexton completed post-doctoral study at the University of Kansas. He served as clinical director for the College of Education at Central Michigan University, but the pull of home brought him back to the Eastern Montana College campus in 1977 to become director of the EMC Institute for Habilitative Services and a profes-sor in the School of Education. In August 1987, he was named EMC's academic vice presi-dent and professor of special edu-cation and reading; on July 1, 1994, he became acting chancellor and continued as a professor of special education and reading; then, on March 22, 1995, Dr. Ronald P. Sex-ton was appointed chancellor of Montana State University-Billings. When asked about signifi-cant changes he has seen in his 50 years with the university, he said, "It has been satisfying to see an in-creased investment in the students, staff, faculty and curricula that makes the Montana University System what it is: one of the finest, academically, and one of the most cost effective public university sys-tems in the United States. Increased funding for additional workforce development programs and funds for scholarships give students a boost. All of these efforts position the Montana University System and MSU-Billings to better re-spond to the needs of the state, the region and a changing global economy. "This trniversity has a vital role in our community. With 5,000 students, more than 900 employ-ees and an economic impact that exceeds $65 million annually, MSU-Billings will continue to play an important role in the growth, education and success of Billings in the future. It is also a responsi-bility we take very seriously." One of his biggest concerns, he said, is that, "A larger and larger share of the burden of paying for the cost of higher education is be-ing passed on to our students and their families. We are making ev-ery effort to curtail those costs through greater efficiencies, in-creased numbers of scholarships and larger scholarship amounts, improved accessibility through in-novative scheduling and online courses and programs, and univer-sity/ industry partnerships that pro-vide significant internship oppor-tunities and economic support for our programs." Keeping down the cost of higher education is important to Dr. Sexton. He knows, firsthand, how hard it is to work yoirr way through college, and often can be found sit-ting with students, listening with understanding as they share their stories of struggle. Born and raised in Billings, he was a first-genera-tion college student who juggled a work schedule with his studies and athletics. It seems he never did learn to slow down. His strong work ethic is legendary on campus, and many attribute it, in part, to the significant achievements on cam-pus under his leadership. As al-ways, however, he is quick to hand off the credit. "Whatever successes we have experienced, as well as all of those that lie ahead, can be at-tributed to the support ofa very gen-erosity commiutity that continues to believe in the importance oftheir university — Montana State Uni-versity- Billings, and to the extraor-dinarily talented and hardworking faculty and staff. The teaching, scholarly work, research and ser-vice commitments of our faculty and staff are second to none and not only provide our students with excellence in the classroom, but touch and impact every segment of our community through their out-reach, leadership and volunteer work. "The brightest star in the fu-ture of Montana State University- Billings lies in the strength of the commitment of this community, its leaders across every sector — pri-vate and public — who generously give of their time, resources and expertise to encourage and ensure our continued growth and devel-opment. "There are seismic changes taking place in our world right now. Technology not only is bringing the citizens of this planet closer to-gether, but expectations o femploy-ers, taxpayers and students are forc-ing all of us to evaluate and address how best post-secondary education is to be delivered, what it entails and how best it will be used to serve the greater good of society. "The coming year will present its share ofchal-lenges — in everything from declining numbers of high school graduates in Montana to a limited amount of resources with which to get things done — but none will be insur-mountable." When Dr. Sexton walks across cam-pus, he sees the university as it is today, with the unique perspective of how it has evolved over the span of the past five decades. He can show you exactly where he met his wife, Marilynn, while they both were stu-dents at Eastern Montana College. They have four children and three grand-sons. Marilynn calls her husband "the most devoted, loving and patient grandfa-ther in the world," and de-lights in sharing photos ofhim play-ing with his beloved grandsons at their family cabin in Red Lodge. "Marilynn and I recently spent hours looking over photo-graphs of our years on campus, dating back to the 1950s, and a wave of nostalgia swept over me, reminiscing about the people at the university who have made our lives so special these past five decades, and there are a lot ofthem," he said with a smile. "Most things on cam-pus are transitory, but the one con-stant in my mind is the caliber of teaching that has been the legacy our faculty members have handed down to thousands of students, stu-dents who then went on to influ-ence the lives of yet thousands more. What our faculty members have accomplished with their tal-ent is the most important work I can imagine, and they have done it outstandingly well; the success of our graduates is testimony to that. They are the credit behind any suc-cess this university has enjoyed. They are the history of this institu-tion, and if we are,judged in the figure on the legacy they left, we will boast a history well written, and one of which all of us would be r.rcu " PAGE 8•THE RETORT HEALTH4IWAV National Nutrition Month Photo courtesy o www.msubi Ings.e • u Rev. Kim Woeste talks to a student during Welcome Week Graphic courtesy of psichi.vassaredu Psi Chi brings movies and leadership to MSU-B. DARLA TYLER-MCSHEIUtY Ikeda Balavashrr March is National Nutrition Month. This is a great time to look at your current eating habits and make changes if needed. How healthy is your diet? How does it compare to the average MSU-B diet? Here's some info that may be interesting and useful. During the fall semester of 2004 we conducted the National College Health Assessment. We distributed the surveys in classrooms and obtained 644 surveys. One survey question asked, "How many servings of fruits and vegetables do you usually have per day?" The results may surprise you. Four percent said they don't eat fruits or vegetables. Seventy percent said they have one or two per day. Twenty percent said they eat 3 to 4 daily and only five percent answered -they eat 5 or more per day. It's recommended to have at least five serving daily. Fruits and vegetables give us vitamins, minerals, water, fiber, antioxidants and much more. Planning and preparation are important in having a healthy diet. Simply having access to healthy foods will help you make healthier choices. Prepare a grocery list before going shopping. Once inside the store, shop in the outer aisles first, and then move towards the center of the store. Fresh foods are usually on the perimeter, whereas highly. processed foods are generally more towards the center. When shopping, pay attention to what's on sale, and stock up on produce that will "keep" for awhile, such as apples, oranges, several vegetables, etc. This will help stretch your grocery dollar. Have you bought tasty fresh fruit or veggies only to have forgotten about them and found them rotted in the bottom bin of your refrigerator? Once you have your healthy goodies at home, you may want to keep them (the fruit, anyway) in a decorative bowl on your counter or desk. This will add color to your home and make healthy snacks a quick and easy choice that will be hard to forget! When planning and eating your meals, make it a goal to eat at least one serving of a fruit or vegetable in each meal. Then have at least two for snacks throughout the day. Prepara-tion will help you achieve this. Have produce on hand that will travel well in your backpack, such as oranges, apples, bananas, carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli. Buy inexpensive reusable food containers to carry more "fragile" items, such as fresh peaches, pears, grapes, grape tomatoes, etc. Eating a wide selection of fruit and veggies will not only make your meals and snacks more interesting, but will help you wide variety of nutrients as well. Try making a deliberate decision to get more fruits and veggies in your diet. In about two to four weeks, see if you notice a difference. By paying attention to what you're eating, you may feel better, have more energy, and look forward to meals instead of just reaching for the fast fixes you might have chosen previously. A couple helpful nutrition websites include www.nutrition.gov and www.montanadieteticassociation.org . Take care and stay healthy. Club Connections: United Campus Ministry and Psi Chi BRIE RAJDOVICH UCM brings Ecumenism to Campus United Campus Ministry is a reli-gious club on campus that spends its time holding Bible studies and worshiping. It also does service projects, such as helping the homeless, and helps its mem-bers as well as the community reinforce its faith in God, or even helps people find their faith. It is supported by United Methodist Church, the Presbyterian Church USA, the Lutheran Church (ELCA), United Church of Christ, Chris-tian Church (Disciples of Christ), and the American Baptist Churches, but accepts all different backgrounds. Traditional and non-traditional students, faculty, and staff are all welcome to attend any or all UCM events. Every Tuesday there is a noon lunch gathering. Lunch is provided and it is held in the SUB atrium. On Wednes-day there is a noon Bible study, also held in the SUB atrium. It is casual Bible study and you have to bring a lunch. On Thursday there is "Food, Fun, Faith" at 5:00 p.m. During that time, the group meets at a different place every week, and they cook, eat, and stick around for a fun activity, movies, chatting, or lis-tening to music. Retreats are held one weekend a semester where MSU-Bill-ings students meet with students from Bozeman and Missoula. Additional services that the min-istry provides are counseling, crisis as-sistance, referral to community services, and they can even give you a ride to local churches. The campus minister, Rev. Kim Woeste is available most mornings Monday- Friday, and always by appointment for praying or talking. her office is located in SUB 207, or she can be contacted by phone at 657-2165, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org . For more information about the club itself, check out http:// www.msubillings.edu/umc. Psi Chi Unites Future Shrinks of the World _ Psi Chi was founded in 1929 and is a branch of the National Honor Soci-ety. Men and women who are interested in Psychology are encouraged to join. The minimum requirements for admit-tance include having a GPA or 3.0, be-ing enrolled at least one year at MSU-Billings, and working toward a major or minor in psychology. The club feeds the creativ-ity of their members by us-ing professional programs and other leadership pro-grams. The goals of this club are to maintain scho-lastic excellence, and to make advancements in the field of psychology. This club publishes a magazine "Eye on Psi Chi," which in-forms the members about the goings-on of the club. Psi Chi is a member of the Association of Col-lege Honor Societies, affili-ated with the American Psy-chological Association, the American Psychological Society, and is a sister honor society to Psi Beta. There are over 1,000 colleges and universities that participate in this club nationally. The students and faculty advisors choose who they believe will achieve ex-cellence in the club. After they induct new members, they register them with the national board, located in Chattanooga, Tenn. Under the president, Amanda L. Engellant, meetings are held the first and third Wednesdays of every month at 3:00 p.m. in the Garrison Room on the fifth floor of the LA build-ing. Among other things, the club shows a movie one time a month that per-tains to psychology and mental health, in hopes to lower the preconceived notions that American currently have about men-tal illness because of Hol-lywood. isAFt ,.,.„., FINANCIAL TIP OF THE WEEK Nt,W.FINANCIA14 A ll) Ruas Effectie July If, 2006: ,,,,,,,milikm, $ Regarding interest rates: Yonne]. $ The current variable interest rate of 4,7% onStafford leans will increase ivanto to a Atvclinterest rate of 6.8%; coaszkiffr $ The current variable interest rate of 6,I % on PLUS loans for parent bear will increase to a E.tratintertst rate of 8.5%. ii# Ist $ Origination fees for Stafford loans will gradually decrease until they are io AXEil A eliminated in 20I0, latrkwEr $ Student will notbe able to consolidate their loans while in school, thai WM eliminating the potential to lock-in lower interest rates before graduation. "m11.111m"" $ New merit-based grant available to students who maintain a 3..0 GPA and whose majors are in fields deemed Critical to national security'. For MON informatim, contact SAFE (406) 994-7223, email@example.com. 3AFEis &deal), /putt from Student Assist etce Founiztionto *a eft of Health and Hamm Deuelopmatt at MSU-Boxanin THE RETORT* PAGE 9 It's Election Time Again! Roll Out the Platforms Main Campus Candidates Seth Berglee While serving as a Senator for this past semester, I have begun to understand the needs of the students and the university as a whole. I would really appreciate the opportunity to continue working for the students of MSU-Billings. Anthony Flores If elected, I assure my recommenda-tions, votes, and decisions are fair and benefi-cial to the faculty, adminis-tration and student body alike. Haley DePuydt To fairly represent the MSU-Billings student body. I love to be involved in student organi-zations and bring both fun and organizational skills to groups I belong to, such Jacket Student Ambassadors and MSU-Billings Student Volunteers. Scott Steinbacher I have lived and worked at MSU-Billings for the past four years and know how student organi-zations func-tion. I have been involved with Residence Life, Habitat for Humanity, and the Office of Community Involvement. I currently hold a position in the Student Union Building as a SUB Manager. If I was to be elected as a senator I would do the best to my ability to make sure that these funds are directed back to students that need the support. Brittany Lane Once again, I am running for Senator-at- Large. If I get elected, it will be the third year that I have served ASMSU-B student government. On behalf of the students, I truly enjoy the opportunity to speak out, listen to concerns, and make an impact on important issues. Not only am I dedicated to Senate but it's a passion of mine. So vote for me, and I will continue to represent the campus community to the best of my ability. Tytus Stempniewicz - I am running to be a representative of the students. I am visible to students and listen to their concerns. I am active in tennis and the international club, as well as Senate. I served you well this far and hope to continue the service. Stacie Dix Running for a second term as Senator, I would like to continue to be a voice for the students. As an RA I interact with students on a daily basis, it is important that their voice is heard. I am an engaged student on campus attend-ing a wide variety of events put on by different student organizations. I would like to continue to be a voice for the students through ASMSU-B. Thank you! Lewis Rife To con-tinue to repre-sent the students of Montana State University- Billings with fairness and dignity. Titian! Fehimann I want to represent and inform the students of MSU-Billings. I am currently a Senator-at-Large and want to continue with the work I have started. I work with the Food Service Task Force, Parking Task Force, the Financial Board and a variety of other campus committees. I believe the students should decide how funds are spent and what happens on their campus. Sarah McIntyre I am running to be a Senator-at-Large because I have really enjoyed being on Senate this year and would like to continue the work I have been doing. It is such a great opportunity to grow as an individual and help bring campus issues to the attention of those who have the power to change what needs to be changed. Amanda Morales I am running for senator because I want to become more involved in my college and my education, as well as the education of my peers. As a 24 year old, married student I would like to lend support especially to non-traditional students. I am also up for support-ing ethnic minority students in any way possible, as I believe there can never be enough diversity on campus. I would generally support any improvements to students' experience here at MSU-B. Kenneth Burke I have always believed in representing the voiceless majority. That's right, these who are too busy to read this, but still care. I can't promise being able to change the manner in which this university approaches its problems, but I can promise that the concerns of my fellow students will at least be heard. Zach Abets As a student athlete I feel that it is important to get involved in many areas in school. The school gives a lot to me and I feel that it is important to give back to the school by participating in important structured organizations like ASMSU-B. Loren Moreno As a Senator for the school I feel it would be my job to make sure people from all walks of life were heard. Every comment would be passed on to those work-ing for a better MSU-Billings. As an out-of-state student, I want to help others from out-of-state. With my experience of living in the dorms, I want to fix that ridiculous meal plan. I want MSU-Billings to have it's best year now and be part of that. Shelley Tanskanen The things that I have to offer the student population is experience, a willingness to listen, and empathy of what is best for the whole campus. During my three year term I have served on all three of ASMSU-B standing committees. So I have the experience of how Senate works. This campus is very community oriented that is why I like to serve another term as your student representative. Please vote for me! Christa Jensen I am running for Senator-at- Large because I would like to become more involved in student life more than I currently am. I want to meet more people because I am a people person and living at home it is hard to be as involved as I desire. I think that I am a good candidate because I absolutely love people and I also love communicat-ing with others and I am a very good problem solver! Brian 'Gus' Redfern I have lived on campus for three years, been a RA in the residence halls for two of them, and have good knowledge of our campus and the organizations within our student body. I will do my best to represent the students on this campus to the best of my ability. My goals of a senator would be to get the students involved with our campus and to make sure that organizations and students have the proper funding available. Janil Pedersen As a senator-at-large, I would want the students' voices heard. Senate is a great way to be involved with MSU-Billings. It is also a great way to keep other students in the loop. I am opinionated and friendly, and I think I would be a huge asset to ASMSU-B. As a current Senator, I believe I have the experience to serve the students as they should be. COT Candidates Cheisey McCollum I have served as COT Senator for the Fall 2005 session and would like to represent the students of the College of Technology again. I live on the main campus and attend class at the COT, therefore representation between dual campuses comes easily. My previous experience and established relations with faculty and adminis-tration will allow me to perform the duties of the COT senator well. Serena Anderson I am excited to be a part of Montana State University government. I believe I can benefit the committee with new ideas and a launch of energy. Realizing the college world can be very over-whelming, I think implementing motivational speakers to boost the morale for students. Another idea is to gather students and create a support group because when going to new college, students have left their friends and family, and this would be beneficial. Thank you for consider-ing me. PAGE 100THE RETORT 0011 &e 1f Ott the Sa6eock(Theater Season starts SepternLer 29, 2005 Zive 3,4ting every rfittrshy ni914t t rouf I Marc430, 2006 needed. Lose Ifiefq6.ins every 'XI nes y at Case 1, 6:00 pm slarb Tor inb caff Mike 486(-0528, or7ri'e 672-5677 Wanted experience Weekig, Including Matched Fighters °allege 18 4S. hg SSO experience. Matt Harris Dan Hansen Kevin Majewski ...And in Lincoln and Douglas Fashion... Presidential Candidates Kevin Majewski Major: Psychology I founded and presided over Circle K International, a volunteer organization. I proudly serve as Buzz, the Yellowjacket mascot, and actively served as Student Senator for two years. During my two years in Senate, I served on Public Relations/Student Services Com-mittee, and Financial Board. One goal for this year is to increase communication throughout campus, state entities, and increase student representation on the state level. My school pride and well-rounded experience makes me the leading candidate for President. Matt Harris Major: Biology Minor: Business Administration I am running for the position of ASMSU-B President because I would like to make a difference. After serving you with pride as a Senator I am eager to take myself to the next level. I will do what-ever it takes to provide you with the means to achieve academic excellence. I plan to be an acces-sible resource to all students and work hard for all of you. Thank you for your time, and I would greatly appreciate your vote. Vice Presidential Candidates Dan Hansen Major: Math Education As an incumbent, I have the experience and the clout that are essential for a Vice President. Over the last year I have brought professionalism, equality, and respect to our organization as the chair of the student senate. Fur-thermore, I want to ensure that student issues survive the turn-over. I can and will provide a stable platform for the executive and legislative branches to operate on. I promise no less than to build on these foundations. Andrew Zoeller All photos courtesy of candidates Many Cooks Don't Always Spoil the Broth: Stirring the Pot OLIVIA KOERNIG ture and animals. Each of the speakers Editor-ix-Chie will talk for about five minutes. Following the panel's remarks, two Lisa Kemmerer, Ph. D., of the En- more students, Bethany Dopp and Mor-glish and Philosophy Department, along gan Hanley, will present the book "The with eight other women, will be bringing Pornography of Meat," by Carol Adams. the second annual "Stirring the Pot" fo- Dopp and Hanley will be applying the rum to the MSU-Billings campus this issue of dominance and hierarchy through month. The event will be Thursday, the book. March 23 at 7 p.m. in the Lewis and Clark "Ecofeminism: Women, Nature, room of the SUB. Justice" is designed to provide opportu- Kemmerer, who has achieved an nities for expanding our understanding of almost cult-like following on campus, the world we live in and how we live in was the mastermind behind last year's our world." forum, "Voices of Change." It was pre- After the presentation of the book, sented as an assignment for her the forum will be opened up for discus- Ecofeminism philosophy class. In order sion between the audience and the panel. to be eligible for an "A" in the class, stu- Last year about 80 people attended. dents were required to participate in some Kemmerer expects a similar reception this aspect of the forum. year. Refreshments will be provided. This year's forum, "Ecofeminism: Women, Nature, Justice," is sponsored by the Department of English and Philoso-phy in alliance with United Campus Ministries (UCM). Kemmerer said this event is part of Women's History Month. She said that although this is not a class-sponsored debate, four stu-dents from her Ecofeminism class last semester will be participating. Students Amelia McDanel and Sara Schantz will introduce the speakers and the topic of Ecofeminism. The forum is designed to challenge people to "rethink gender relations, as well as relations with people of dif-ferent abilities, races, and ages, and our relations with nature and other animals." The speakers will cover a range of topics all centered on environmental/na-ture issues, within the social context of hierarchy and dominance. Rev. Kim Woeste of UCM, will cover scripture; Dr. Joy Honea, of the Dept. of History, Na-tive American Studies, Political Science and Sociology, will give remarks on women in families; Director of Interna-tional Studies Director Analicia Pianca will speak about ableism (discrimination Graphic courtesy of Dr. Lisa based on one's abilities or disabilities) and Kemmerer racism; Thom Dexter will lecture on age- Kemmerer's Ecofeminism ism and Kemmerer of the Dept. of En- philosophy class sponsored a forum. glish and Philosophy will talk about na- Andrew Zoeller Major: Accounting Minor: Finance I want to be the next ASMSU-B Vice President in order to better serve the students. My experiences as a Senator, a Supreme Court Justice, and an active student have given me the tools necessary to serve our student body. I plan to keep Senate organized as well as hold Senators accountable for their duties. Matt Harris and I will serve with integrity and represent the students with pride. I truly appre-ciate your time, and would greatly appreciate your vote. THE RETORTS PAGE 11 Photo by Paul Jangula Dam Herbert rehearses for Williams' "The Glass Menagerie." APPLICATIONS ARE NOW BEING ACCEPTED FOR THE FOLLOWING 2006-2007 SCHOOL YEAR POSITIONS • ASMSU-B BUSINESS MA1VAGER • ASMSU-B POLITICAL ACTION DIRECTOR • ASMSU-B STUDENT RESOLUTION OFFICER/PR Each of these positions receives a stipend. Applications available: www.msubillings.eduiasmsub or room 213 of the Student Union Building. For questions, please call 657-2365. Deadline to apply is Friday, March 24, 2006, by 5:00p.m. mswoEasitr=s OINTANA STATE INVEINTVIIIINCA FRU )0\1 K ) IIMPOWL.RMLNT "....71tey "-ley laded alattl in op__ 01.4. ft were on my side Medical professionals on staff Close to campus Confidential pregnancy testing 10) reynancy Center 232.113roadkk (der wiunc 13illimt1/4, 111 •--;( )1(12 106.652- itilis k1if smell All 31)10,-; 106.256.70 ft AlTS E\TE1TAINMEN Broken Glass and Female Anatomy MSU-B Drama Committee Sponsors Classic and Cutting Edge Drama PAUL JANGUL'I StzWir Writer-) MSU-B is offering students an opportunity to see a truly classic play. The Communications and Theater Department in association with ASMSU-B Drama Committee are producing "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams. This play is one of the standards to which all other drama is compared. The setting of the play is the late 30s during America's slow crawl out of the Great Depres-sion, but before World War II. The city is St. Louis and the four characters are Amanda, the mother, Laura, the daughter, Tom, the son, and Jim who is a possibility for Laura romantically. The characters are written to represent a dream of reality, or the failure reality brings to dreams. Amanda is played by Martha Carlson who is a veteran of theater in Billings. Tom is played by Sam Herbert, a newcomer to the stage. Laura is played by Jessica Kohn,, and Jim is portrayed by Josh Payne who you may remember from "The Transparency of Val," and "Beauty is a Beast." These actors have been hard at work in rehearsals and their characters are already coalescing. Randy Pugh is directing this project, and is working from a sense of personal nostalgia. He has seen several productions of this play, and has taught it in his Introduction to Theater classes. When asked why he chose "The Glass Menagerie" he said that he hoped the name recognition would draw a large audience. He also wants to expose his audience to a true classic of American theater. "We've been neglecting the classics," Pugh said. He continued to explain that the production staff has and is planning to send invitations to area high schools within a 100-mile radius. Pugh plans to have a discussion session either before or after the performances in order to solidify the concepts in the audience's minds. Pugh says that this play has continuing appeal. When questioned why he responded, "Tragic things happen to ordinary people. You can't go back and repair the past, and I like that this play acts like a membrane in that the characters can take the audience from present to past and back to present." The performance dates are April 12 through 15. Show-time is 7:30 p.m. in Petro Theater. The Student Senate Finance Committee has also secured tickets for all MSU-B students. MSU-B students get into all theater produc-tions without charge from this date forth. Faculty, staff, and community members still have to pay; sorry folks, but we have to pay for the lumber the sets are made out of somehow. - Another free show for students is running the week after "The Glass Menagerie." In true theater family affair style, Alicia Pugh, Randy's wife, is directing "The Vagina Monologues" by Eve Ensler. This play is a series of single actress monologues dealing with gripping, and sometimes-uncomfortable subject matter. Ensler spent a great deal of time interviewing women who were victims of violence, from a woman working with women in a homeless shelter in New York City to women in Bosnia who had survived rape room tortures. "The Vagina Monologues" is designed to empower women who are in situations where they put up with violence to get out of those situations. The play covers issues of abuse, secrecy of women about their bodies, misplaced shame, and inadequacy, just to name a few. It is the kind of subject matter that is important to say and hear. The main focus is women's issues, but guys don't feel left out. This play is an insight into the psy-chology of women. If you have ever wondered why your girlfriend gets mad at you for seemingly no reason the answer may reside in the produc-tion of this play. Pugh is working with YWCA Sexual Assault Services, and Friday, April 21 the play will be held in Petro Theatre as a benefit performance with proceeds going to assist abused and sexually assaulted women. The other performances slated for April 19, 20, and 22 will be in room 620 on the sixth floor of the L.A. Building. Show-time is 7:30 p.m. and again students get in free. "The Vagina Monologues" features 12 actresses ranging widely in age, ethnic background, and occupa-tion. Loren Moreno who appeared in "Beauty is a Beast," "Marco Polo Sings a Solo," and "Tartuffe: Born Again" is back on stage for this play. Iizawa Chihiro (Yoshimi), an exchange student from Japan, is also featured in the monologues. Pugh has managed to capture in her casting choices the essence of the play. When asked why she chose this play she said, " I was interested in the message of empower-ing women this play promotes. Ensler speaks for women who don't want to speak for themselves." PAGE 12•THE RETORT Album artwork by Ryan Dobrowski Dr. Marcus Nynas Billings Family Chiropractic 2520 17th West Suite LL2 In College Park Professional Center 294-2820 Early Morning and Lunch Hour Appointments Available Most insurance Plans Accepted Portland Sends Elliot Smith a Postcard of Admiration Knock's version of "Speed Trials" just plain sucked. It is well-known that tribute albums are always hit or miss. I think that "To: Elliot, From: Portland" hits the mark, with the exception of just a few outcasts. It portrays Portland exaclty in a way that one would Board years wori6rag mewspapor @re-clos academic Oakiadimag DANA LIVERMONT L..rtoArt Editor The "Good Will Hunting" guy, more familiarly known as Elliot Smith, was a prominent star of the punk/folk genre at the turn of the century. Born Steven Paul Smith in Nebraska, the singer called himself Elliot. He spent his teenage years in Portland living with his dad, and it was during this time that Smith discovered the guitar. He joined the punk band Heatmiser and simulta-neously pumped out several solo albums (which are what awarded him the most recogni-tion.) In 1997, nomination and the title of "the Good Will Hunting" guy in the music world. His music embodied the spirit of Portland. It was mostly acoustic, with folk, jazz, punk and country influences and featured unrefined vocals. His lyrics are what gave his music character. They were poetic and profound, venturing into all that is meloncholy and exploring themes familiar to Elliot Smith's life, particu-larly drugs and despair. In October of 2003, his body was found in his Los Angeles home. His death was the result of what many argue were self-inflicted stab wounds. He was 34. It is no surprise that Smith's death hit the music world pretty hard, especially in the indie-rock culture of Portland. His influences stretched across zip codes and musical genres in - the laid back city, and it was because of this that the recent "To: Elliott, From: Portland" was released. This musical compilation is a tribute to the late musician with some of Smith's most memorable songs redone completely by artists from Portland. The opening track, "Clementine," was covered by one of the most prominent bands of Portland, The Decemberists. It features acoustic guitar with highlights of harmonica true to the original. In fact, most of the artists chose to keep a tone that was synonymous with Smith's sound and with the Portland vibe, including The Helio Sequence ("Satellite"), Swords ("I Didn't Understand"), and Eric Mathews ("Needle in the Hay"). Others tried to take the original lyrics and apply them to a totally different sound, like the album's version of "Happiness." Here the Lifesavas took the Smith original and morphed it into a rap-like track, which deserves expect, and it recreates Smith in a way that is true, but not redundant. It definitely has an indie/underground feel, and although I would probably choose Elliot Smith's versions, this album is an honorable attempt to bid farewell to one of Portland's greats. Elliot, you are missed. he was contacted by "Good Will Hunting" director Gus Van Sant to write a track for the soundtrack. That tune, "Miss Misery," won Smith an Acad-emy Award "Now I'm a crash credit card registered to Smith. It's not the name that you call me with." Elliot Smith as retold by Dolorean an "A" for effort, but the outcome is a bit disap-pointing. It just doesn't fit with the rest of the album. The last track, "High Times," is an unreleased track by Sean Croghan, friend and former roommate of Elliot Smith. My favorite selections include the before mentioned Decemberists and Helio Sequence tracks and also "The Biggest Lie" by Dolorean and "Be-tween the Bars" by Amelia. Knock — knowledge sgfUE 22Z Portland's music scene with his death k in 2003. Photo courtesy of 0 www.varandadoazurblogger.corn.br Elliot Smith left a gaping hole in (93 THE RITORT• PAGE 13 toe •tsrstets•t 1110M011 01 THE VIRGIN SUICIDES Movie poster courtesy of art. corn 011, I I j 4IP flatly Wilt tail 4! tmill hut I 10:14 , ti ,:„4,‘•10, The Victorian ProrWing K;; La/edge to the Community: 1 7 ;IA • The Victorian now makes available through Montana Targeted Prevention FREE Condoms & H.I.V. Testing. Results in 20 minutes. All testing is anonymous. Wed. thru Sat. 5:00 pm & 9:00 pm Hepatitis C Testing & Hepititis A & B Vaccinations evely 2nd & 4th Tuesday 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm Next Test Dates Oct. 1 lth & 25th Bring in this 0t/o ad & receive OFF OF TOUR CANDLES NOVELTIES BOOKS, TAPE & DYD'S id 4 MINNESOTA AVE. & 21ST ST. • TUES-SAT 12PM TO MIDNIGHT IDA IltAs it`ristrialtnvittF.tIMO Outfit Miceril l 1.11441.4. it■ Atas, oz to: 144ititifi lit! i4 f• 111111.03too13e `Middlesex' is Fiction That Reads Like Nonfiction in a Good Way MELISSA DEVRIES -Arts ev.Ercartaitimertt Editor "Middlesex" starts its story in a small village in Greece and takes us on a journey with one family through different countries, lives and times. The book introduces us to Calliope, a second-generation Greek- American girl growing up with her family and their secrets. At times in the book, we are looking at the life of Calliope and her family in Detroit and we are quickly taken back in time to life in Greece with her grandparents where we start to learn more and more about this family's secrets and what they left back in Greece. This is all very important in understand-ing the family and may be an answer to all Calliope's problems. Calliope was raised as a girl in a middle class family whose father is infatuated with American cars. Her life seems normal but when she hits puberty, it becomes very difficult for her. She starts to have feelings for other girls and when other girls are develop-ing., breasts, she starts devel-oping facial hair. Throughout her uncomfortable journey, you cannot help but feel sorry for her and wonder how she will come out of it all. After waxing, shaving and growing to almost six-feet tall, her family finally takes her to a specialist who finally says what the reader is predicting all along; she is a hermaphrodite. After the shock of not knowing what she is anymore, Calliope runs away to find herself. The book takes you through her journey of learning how to walk, dress and act all over again in a new body. You can feel the awkwardness in Eugenides' writing, which is not some-thing you always get. The book is fiction but you read it thinking it's real and when the book is done you can't help but want more and want to know how their lives all end. This book shows the taboo of incest but doesn't make it dirty or too uncom-fortable. I had never heard of Jeffrey Eugenides, the Pulitzer Prize winning author before, but I will certainly be looking for him in Barnes and Noble from here on out. • • • ••• 000 o0 •• •• w• 4•11o • •••- ••w ee•• ce 0• 01111 . 0 0 vest • a .. • e** • Ma 00 0 I" • • • 0. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 0 0 1 0 • 0 • • • • • • • • • . • • • • • •• • • • ... .... • , 000 • t • 000 •• - ••••• • - *•— . See. •— • • •• •0 •• •• • ..• •• e • • • • • 0 • • . •S• ••• Hate Groups Formed as a Result of Ultraviolet's Suckiness 411111.- - t JAMES R.EUSS 6z NATE PETTEFLSON Staff &Fri/erg Maybe you were thinking of seeing the film "Ultraviolet"... maybe you shouldn't. Why? While the first third of the film may have visual merit (not found in the Computer Graphics), the film overall will make your organs bleed. You might not make it to the credits. The concept behind the film relies heavily on the willing suspen-sion of disbelief as the movie actually promotes disbelief. It seems that in the future there will be a struggle between regular humans and an underground element of "vampires" (Hemophages in the film). Before you get excited, understand that 1) these vampires are never shown consuming blood of any kind, 2) they cannot fly, 3) hypnotize anyone, 4) turn into mist, 5) create ghouls or homunculi, or 6) even intimidate children. As the Hemophages are the underdogs of the film, we are forced against our will to side with them and somehow support their never-explained "cause." Luckily for the Hemophages, they have Milla Jovovich to wear unnecessarily tight and combat-ineffective clothing to engage in anti-climactic fight scenes. And who would be worthy of fighting such a protagonist? An insecure, germophobic suit with the lamest nasal apparatus in film history— you will know him as Daxus (Nick Chinlund). It is rare in film for audiences to dislike the antagonist and the protagonist with equal intensity. Any success in the film is limited to imagery. Kurt Wimmer, who brought you the wonderful film you should have watched ("Equi-librium"), crafts visually stimulating scenes at the outset of the movie. The color use and composition of many shots in the early portion of the film are remarkable, but the CG and the soft-focus- Barbara-Walters-interview style filter pollute any imagery that might have been pleasing. It has been said that the best part of a good movie and the worst part of a bad movie is the special effects. "Ultravio-let" hammers this point home with the force of Mjollnir. You would think that some-one would have drawn the line at bad CG and poor character development. Nope. The dialogue in the film made myself and comrades question whether or not the screenwriter was comfort-able with the English language. The bad dialogue crushes any hope of good (or even mediocre) acting. The interchange of quips at the climax of the film elicited peals of raucous laughter from the reviewer and his friends. Our laughter was amplified by the fact that everyone else in the theater was silent, for they had already been reduced to semi-vegetative states by this multi-sensory lobotomy. We, here at The Retort, are requesting photos of anyone that actually enjoyed the film, so that we may avoid you wherever and when-ever possible. (In case you were wondering, Mjollnir is Thor's hammer) (In case you were wondering who Thor is, he is the Norse god of thunder and gave you "Thursday," formerly Thor's Day) PAGE 14•THE RETORT Photo courtesy of www.danandoot.corn Ahdoot graced MSU-B with a recent appearance. ram Hastings Discover Your Entertainment Short on cash? SELL us your USED Books, CDs, DVDs, Games and Game Systems BUILD CREDIT towards any Hastings purchase. Visit your local Hastings for more details and special offers. Used items must meet minimum buyback requirements. Select items (budget, singles, promos, book dub or prior years sports games) not acceptable for credit. Hastings accepts hardback, large size paperbacks & audio CD books. See store for details. Buy 1 Hardback Cafe Drink Get the 2nd Hastings 1603 GRAND AVE, UNIT B1 OFF 41111R11 BIWNGS, MT 59102 Excludes Bottle Drinks. Limit 1. Expires 3/18/06. Baby, I got Your Number! ( MELISSA DEVRIES 46•13,thsrtailearteset Editor ) When going out with your friends or going to class, there is usually someone that catches your eye, but what is that is catching your eye? For some it's a smile and others it's a magnetic personality but what's the first thing we notice. For me, it's their shoes. I think you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes; dress shoes, they must care about what they look like and hopefully have a job, gym shoes, maybe they are athletic and care about their health. What ever it is there is always something. Let's see what some MSU-Billings students notice first about their opposite sex. "Seriously? Hair; the cut, style or color. I like when someone does something different; I like a clean cut." Tracy Jo Schweigert Major: Public Relations/ Political Science Minor: Philosophy Junior Minnesota "Depends on what way my heads pointing. I guess whether or not she's wearing a wedding ring." Rick Parkinson Major: Communication Sophomore Villas, New Jersey "Smile. Big smile and straight "Face. It's the first thing you teeth." look at, I guess." Kelli Morse Brett Weese Major: Public Relations Major: Communication Junior Sophomore Billings Wilke, Saskatchewan Canada Ahdoot Was a Hoot at MSU-B BRJE R.ADOVICH Regt•aryter Comedian Dan Ahdoot visited MSU-Billings on February 21. Many people know him as a finalist on season two of Last Comic Standing. For an hour and a half he got the audience to laugh at his funny and sometimes obscene jokes. Ahdoot graduated from John Hopkins University with honors as a pre-med student. He quickly decided that he wanted become a comedian and moved to New York City to pursue his dreams. He has performed at all of the comedy clubs in Manhattan, and is a founding member of an improv troupe. He won first prize at the Philadelphia Comedy Competition in 2003, has been featured on ABC's 20/20, been a guest speaker on 98.7 KISS FM Morning Comedy Special, and has written freelance for Comedy Central's Crank Yankers. Ahdoot has opened for Lewis Black, Dave Chappelle and Jay Mohr. He opened his act Tuesday night with the statement that he is Iranian, but since Sept. 11, he claims to be Puerto Rican. He then joked about how Mon-tanans seem immune to the cold, since several people in the audience were wearing shorts and sandals in the 20 de-gree weather. His jokes encompassed his family life, telling stories of his crazy family and his childhood. His dad used April Fool's Day as more of a day of confession instead of jokes. One year, his dad's joke basically went like this "Son, remember that year that you came home from camp and your hamsters were dead? Well, I killed them . . . no, just joking, I forgot to feed them. Ha. Ha." Ahdoot is not only Iranian, but Jewish as well. He said that people, upon learning that he is Iranian, ask about the nuclear bombs being manufactured in Iran. He calmly jokes that the terrorists do not send out emails to all the Irani-ans, revealing their secret intentions. One day after an act, a man came up to him and said that Ahdoot looked more Jewish than Iranian. "What, does that mean that the size of my nose outweighs my need to make a nuclear bomb?" he replied. Then he started poking fun at real-world problems. He joked that people who were in the hurricanes did not leave sooner because the names are not scary enough. If a hurricane was named Hitler, people would be hitting the road as soon as they heard about it. He said that it is good that America accepts refugees, but that America is not utilizing them to the best of its ability. If the person can swim from Cuba to Florida, then the Olympic swim team should recruit him/her. The USA would not lose a race ever again. He ended his stand-up perfor-mance by doing a couple of prank calls. He called one woman's mom and said that her daughter had been caught un-derage drinking. After he got the mom sufficiently upset, he said, "There's some good news, though, I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance," and hung up. THE RETORT• PAGE 15 Retort Classified Ads Help Wanted 10-12/hrs a week driving for Cafe Courier Flexible schedule. Must use own vehicle. Must have good driving record Contact Dustin @ 294.3301 Pryor Creek Golf Course is seeking energetic persons for food/beverage positions. Experience not necessary, we will train. Please apply in person at the Clubhouse. Call Holly @ 348.3900 for directions. PT Sales associate needed. Starting pay $8.00/hr plus commission. Must be 18 years of age. No phone calls. Apply in person M-F 10-5 Big Sky Books, 1203 1st Ave.N. $800 weekly guaranteed stuffing envelopes Send an SASE to Scarab Marketing 28 East Jackson, 10th Floor Suite 938 Chicago, Illinois 60604 Fast Facts Sweet Surrender MELISSA IDEVRIES -ether O.' Rsairtaisrantszt To get the flavor of Harry Potter's Bertie Bott's Beans booger flavor just right, Jelly Belly, the makers of Jelly Beans, bought in a group of seven year old boys to taste different types of booger flavored beans. In the end, all the boys picked the same booger bean and that's how they picked the winner! Don't worry, acne sufferers, eat that chocolate! It's a common myth that chocolate can induce an acne flare up but after two univer-sities did studies on the sweet de-light they found no link to acne and dermatologists today find no link to acne with ones diet. Do you have the hiccups? Place a pinch of sugar on the tongue to get rid of them. You can also take a teaspoon of sugar after eating curry to ease the burn in you mouth! In the original Willy Wonka movie with Gene Wilder, the Oompa Loompas didn't actually sing any of the songs. Other singers were brought in and their voices were dubbed in! If you watch closely you can see that some of their lip-syncing skills were a little oft? Although it is not known exactly how Hershey's brand Kisses got it's name, but it's thought td- have been because of the sound or mo-tion the chocolate made while be-ing deposited in the production process! Photo courtesy of www.epspipeband.ca Butte boasts the largest Irish population per capita in Montana. Donate plasma Your new books could help someone through a rough assignment. ioLife PLASMA SERVICES give. receive. No matter what you do with the money, you'll save a life. Receive up to $200 a month and give life to patients in need. Donate plasma. It's easy & simple. • Donating plasma is safe and easy. • Flexible hours. • You can read, study, listen to music or just relax while donating. • You can relax or catch up on your favorite magazine or book while donating. 406-655-4927 I 2300 Grant Rd. I Billings, MT 59102 www.biolifeplasma.com St. Patrick's Day Not Just About Booze BETSY HARRIS News 8t Thi s story was originally printed in the March 15, 2005 issue of The Retort. Believe it or not, St. Patrick's Day actually has a meaning and a reason, besides getting drunk and wearing green. The original St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was born in Wales about AD 385 and was given the name Maewyn. He considered himself a pagan until he was sold into slavery at 16 years old by a group of marauders who raided his village. That brought him a lot closer to God. He escaped after six years and went to Gaul to study in a monastery. It was there that he became aware that his calling was to convert pagans to Christianity. St. Patrick died on March 17 in AD 461. That's why we celebrate "St. Patrick's Day" on March 17. According to the official St. Patrick's Day website, St. Patrick's Day is a traditional day for spiritu8al renewal and offering prayers for missionaries worldwide. St. Patrick's Day was first celebrated in. America in 1737 in Boston, Mass. As with most things American, its meaning has changed greatly over the years. Spiritual renewal? What part of getting drunk and wearing green underwear is that? Most Americans celebrate St. Patty's Day by wearing green to prevent being pinched and by consuming large amounts of green beer. Many cities have St. Patrick's Day parades and some even go so far as dying their rivers or streams green. The Irish look at St. Patrick's Day in a whole other light. In Dublin St. Patrick's Day is now known as the St. Patrick's Day Festival. They don't use it to commemorate the past but to look to their future. They are very proud of their country, which just happens to be doing great. Natives U2 are considered one of the best bandy of all time, Riverdance, has been seen by 60 million people worldwide and their GNP (gross national product) surpassed Great Britain's a few years ago. So it looks like even in Ireland they're not exactly "praying for missionaries worldwide" on St. Patrick's Day. Whatever the original meaning of this holiday was, it's still fun to party Irish style, so don't worry about the hows and whys, just be responsible, be safe and have fun on St. Patrick's Day. PAGE 16•THE RETORT Photos courtesy of artists Top left: Tippets conveys music through art. Right: Hutchinson explores the female form. Bottom left: Cornett discovers personal growth in "Chrysalis." Dana Livermont Nicole Livermont Age; 21 Hometown: Forsyth, Montana Major: Psychology Minor: Spanish Dream job: Either a Clarice Starling-like serial killer hunter or maybe a successful and highly paid advertising designer Top of celebrity make out list: It's always Johnny Depp and I think I'll add Orlando Bloom to the list (brunette version, of course!) Famous person you'd most like to kick the crap out of: Anne Coulter or Condi Rice, both are pretty slimy in my eyes Recurring nightmare: I don't remember my dreams usually, but I don't like heights/feeling of falling, so being forced to ride a roller coaster would be pretty nightmarish for me. Also the idea of never getting a real job and having to work as a unappreciated food server for the rest of my life. Scary! About our photo: A night of drinking and cleavage bearing at Howl at the Moon of Universal City in Los Angeles. Age: 20 Hometown: Forsyth, Montana Major: Marketing Minor: Sociology Dream job: I would love to be Marketing or Advertising Executive at a huge advertising agency Top of celebrity make out list: We'll duke it out for Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom and I'd add Heath Ledger this year. Famous person you'd most like to kick the crap out of: The only famed person I could ever dislike enough to beat up would be good old G.W. Bush. Other than that I wouldn't really wish harm to anyone else. Recurring nightmare: When I was younger I used to have the recurring dream that Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) was living in my backyard in the trees waiting. That's it, he never really left the trees or did anything. Three Student Shows and a Faculty Exhibit Going on Now ( OLIVIA KOERNIG The month of March is busy for the art department. Three senior artists are exhibiting—both on and off campus—simultaneously. In addition, Art Professor Neil Jussila has pieces on display this month, as well. Sherri Cornett "Chrysalis" Sherri Cornett's senior show "Chrysalis" is on display at Toucan Gallery, located at 2505 Montanan Ave. The life size mixed media pieces were put up March 10 and will remain up until April 4. Cornett said her contract with the gallery was the main factor contributing to her decision to exhibit off campus. Due to the scale of her work, Cornett also said the works may not have fit in the student gallery. The pieces are set at the end of a winding path of river rock. Cornett used steel, copper, bronze, glass, wood and fabric to create her fantasy asylum. "It is from images of cocoons, caves, cradles— places of protection in times of personal growth," said Cornett. Toucan is open Mon. through Fri. from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and on Sat. and Sun. from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Brian Tippets "Visual Music" On display in the SUB Galleria is Brian Tippet's "Visual Music." His show will be up from March 13 to March 24. Tippets collection of digital photos and photo collages were made "with the help of the 'new' digital age." He said his work is all related to music, hence the name. "I'm into music quite a bit," said Tippets. "[It's] what it would be putting a song on paper." Tippets was trying to capture "the essence of music" with his pieces. Playing with the concept of music's ability to take the listener on an emotional journey, Tippets wants his senior exhibit to take the viewer on a similar journey. He said his show is "essentially a study about the connection between music and visual arts." In his artist statement, Tippets wrote: "...The compositions which you see here [are] each meant to represent its own song." Jeanne Hutchinson "La Femelle" March is Women's History Month, which makes it a fitting time for Jeanne Hutchinson's exhibit, "La Femelle," French for 'the female.' In an email to The Retort, Hutchinson wrote: "My senior show is about my exploration of current feminine issues while retaining a connection with the past. My journey through color, glass, bronze, copper and steel has inspired my work for the future. My work is very consciously about women. I returned to university after raising my children, to pursue my lifelong passion of art and to facilitate my studio art degree." "La Femelle" opened March 13 and will remain on display until March 24. Hutchinson's work can be found in the Student Gallery, located on the first floor of the LA building. A reception will be held March 17 from 6 to 9 p.m. "The Line and The Color are Dreaming-Illustrations by Neil Jussila" Also exhibiting right now is Art Professor Neil Jussila. Jussila has been an instructor here since 1969. The works displayed in The Northcutt-Steele Gallery are the fruition of his 2004 sabbatical. Jussila's work took on a new dimension during his time away from campus: he began incorporating prose and poetry into his artwork. Jussila said, "I do what I really love, which is to illustrate my work with prose. When I finish a painting or drawing, I illustrate it with prose that, for me, makes the work far more interesting and acts as a bridge between the audience and the work. I like to work with themes of love, grace, life, death and mortality." Jussila's exhibit includes depictions of landscapes, mothers and children, cartoons and illustrations for studies and book covers. The display went up on Feb. 24 and will be up until March 24. *information about Neil Jussila was taken from a MSU-Billings news service press release* THE RETORTe PAGE 17 Montana Vintage Clothing 2509 MONTANA AVE. (406) 248-7650 Men's & Women's Vintage & Retro Attire Monday-Friday 11:30 - 5:30 Saturday 11:30 - 5:00 414(fif- VOICE Scraping the Barrel: Writing on Fumes Q■ALKE "WOLFGAT•:C" SCHRAGE C..obtArsailt I just wanted to clarify some-thing, and that something is that despite this past issue, reports of my untimely demise are vastly overstated. That being said, these columns are getting harder and harder to write. I figured this would be an easy week, being our Vice President shot a senior citizen in the face. With a freakin' shotgun! But, alas, it was not to be. That would be like playing badminton against a paraplegic. Just too easy. Deadline quickly approached, and I sat at my computer loaded down with pirated music and downloadable porn, eating a Slim Jim just staring at the blinking cursor. Blink. Blink. This wasn't getting any easier. I abandoned my computer, and retreated to the living room to watch the Olympics. Of course, all the good Olympic sports had already concluded, leaving me with the four man bobsled, curling, and the luge. It bothered me that people were actually going to get medals for these events, even though bobsledding itself is glorified tobog-ganing, an activity that involves a frozen surface and a broom that isn't about moving snow, and an event that consists of some dumbass careening down an icy ramp on a brownie pan. I wasted about an hour watching the Taiwanese or whoever, and peeked my head back into the room which housed my computer, just in case I had written something and not remembered it. Blink. Blink. "Crap..." I said. I was really starting to panic. Even at my very peak of journalistic capabilities, my work was marginal at best, especially when compared to that of a second grader writing about his sixth birthday party. I decided the only way to truly do something was just to do it. "Okay." I thought to myself as I settled in with a cold beverage ready to mount a written barrage of biblical proportions. "Time to just kick it. Time to kick it with a tasty groove. .YOU WANT SOME, MSU-B RETORT?! COME GET SOME!" Blink. Blink. It was not, as I imagined, "On like Donkey Kong." Time passed, it was now Sunday evening, and it was rapidly coming down to the wire. I needed inspiration, and I needed it fast, but you try to find inspiration in Billings, Montana on a Sunday night. I decided I would peruse the official Schrage archives of past columns stashed under my sink, which is where I would come to a revelation. Take a look above, or perhaps to your left. Go ahead, it's alright. Right where my name is. Mike "Wolfgang" Schrage. Always Wolfgang. Not that anything is \\TOnil with that moniker, but I remembered I had kept pitching new nicknames to my editors to no avail. Call it a desire to reinvent myself, I offered such possibilities as "Electric Boogaloo," "Dodegball Jesuit," and "Sexual Mephisto" to name a few. But somehow they never stuck. I couldn't squeeze 500 words out of that, however. Hell, I barely got fifteen. Despite my past articles about `racism,' religious bigotry, addictions, bias, erectile dysfunction, date rape and incarceration, I failed to gain inspiration and direction. Blink. Blink. So, did you hear about our Vice President shooting someone in the face with a shotgun... In Defense of Rationality L. STEVEN PITT ENGER Gams: trritzr I will confess that there was a time in my life when my political views were somewhat polarized. I was (and perhaps still am) a raging liberal. At the time my opinion was that if you were a Democrat you were probably right, and if you were a Republican you were probably wrong. Many years, and a whole lot of experiences later, I find that view almost comical. I have since re-nounced any one political affiliation and have instead sided with logic and rationality. I have become disgusted with partisan politics because what both sides fail to realize is that they are fighting the wrong battle. Do we really believe that if Republicans or Demo-crats were given exclusive control of our government that somehow we would be propelled into a golden age of enlightenment and prosperity? When did politics become a bunch of old men posturing and mudslinging in order to keep themselves or their candidate in power? Whatever happened to politicians serving the public good? It's sad really because people align them-selves with a political party and blindly follow because they only think of things in black or white. I personally would vote for any candidate who said they wanted to improve our foreign relations, or feed our poor, or God forbid take religion out of the White House. Their political party is irrelevant so long as they are working to serve the people who elected them, which is becoming increasingly rare. I must also admit that I do not vote. However before you get your political knickers in a knot, let me explain. It has been a long held belief in this country that voting. "changes" things. If we stop and look at the behavior of our elected officials though, we find this to hardly be the case. Our lives and laws are gov-erned by back-room deals and under the table bribes. Our politicians don't care how we vote after we get them into office, because they know that the average American doesn't understand enough about our political system to question it, far less take action. It is for this reason that I do not vote. I will not condone a corrupt system and support unscrupulous politicians simply because voting is the "American" thing to do. It has often been said "If you don't vote, don't com-plain." However, I wish those people would understand that there are a large group of us who are complaining that there is no one to vote for. So I would like to give kudos to that rare breed of citizen who uses rationality and logic to evaluate the worth and value of politics and politicians, and not blind allegiance to a party. Thank you to all of you who choose not to vote for all the right reasons. Finally I would like to address both the Democratic and Republican parties alike. Shame on you! You have taken the trust of the American people and perverted and twisted it into nothing more than a means to an end. The people of this country deserve better than that. We deserve a group of people who truly care about what we want and work to make our country better, not just more profitable. PAGE 18•THE RETORT .1201/thIPSIN COCK* renter 5.12 26 i- Cocter 3.17 towyber 7.28 %wry l3 Much I) Aptit o • ag*l lAf nthqIY w' age 11 22,11m COT C om morn 7,0411) stings“ e tit So 7 el, Def. 6 ilk.7 10n Photo by Olivia Koernig Lead t e Revolutio pple Camp, You don't have to be an Apple Campus Rep to get an education discount, but you do have to be one to get this incredible marketing experience. An iPod-wearing, concert throwing, Powerbook-toting, savvy-talking, pavement-pounding, Apple evangelist. Representing Apple offers you a unique marketing experience. Throw events, distribute marketing materials, embody the digital lifestyle, and put smiles on thousands of faces. To find out more, please go to http://campusreps.apple.com . R fr THE vac OF MONTANA S- AT rumsallay, October MVP*/ SINCE 1959045 5000001 ftrigie, 6:IP -11 *Oa `P91 .gbams Wins ER.SITY-BILLINGS Vahlime 22,111~1 2 Help Wanted! bill the Best Organization en Campus! The Retort Needs to Fill the Following Positions for the Spring 2006 Semester Reporter It Staff Writers (Unlimited) Photographers (Unlimited) to apply or get more information stop by the Retort Office in SUB #225 Call 551-2194 or e-mall reliwt@msublihngsedu We Are a Product That Can't Be Sold NATE PETTERSON Stair igniter ) I don't know how many times it has been said, or who said it first, but all of us are dying. Straight up, no way around it... the sad paradoxical opposed side to the dying coin is that not all of us are living. Judge people based on their decisions, their willful acts— I don't dwell on people's past mistakes, I judge a person based on the deci-sions that they make and then make again, because I think that the decisions we make matter. It has nothing to do with "who" you are or where you have been, who hasn't seen some bad times (a sprinkling of violence, homelessness and addiction)? It has everything to do with what you choose to do, whether you choose to live life and how you experience the world. Life is just a chain of experiences. When it's all said and done, it's all you have, it's the only currency that can justify a yesterday. Your charge in life should be to seek out the members of your tribe. They are out there somewhere, no matter how obscure; don't settle for the collective mediocrity that you run into on any given day. This is not to suggest that one cannot know others outside their tribe or go between tribes, but the tribalization of modern society can make up for all the missing pieces in one's life. The missing father or mother, the sibling you always wanted, a childhood compa-triot that was never there... feel free to substitute them later in life. Try to seek out the rare few who actually prosper from hearing the truth. They know who they are, and if you have any question of whether or not you are one of the small few that I speak of, then by all means I am not talking about you. The chosen few actually enjoy and revel in the coarse and unrefined input that I offer, straight from the soul. And, sadly, it's no different here in Montana than any of the previous States that I have lived in: no one wants to hear the truth. They say they do, and it's not that they want someone to lie to them, it's just that they don't want all the truth up front, they want the watered down version... and carrying all of these buckets of water is getting old. • If someone wants friends that blindly agree with them (a team of yes-men), then I am surely not fit to spend time with them or even casual conversation, for I challenge those around me, especially those close to me, and try to be something more tomorrow than I was today (and yes, I piss off my close friends all the time with this but it keeps them coming back). If surrounding oneself with people who condone flaws and ignore your potential so that yo. 0 can live comfortably is what you want, that's fine, it's a way of life that works for a lot of people and you can find happiness there. I prefer truth to happiness and struggle to comfort— it reminds me that I am indeed alive, and believe me when I say that I have earned these 26 years through mistakes and regrets. Siddhartha Gautama said that "Existence is suffering," it's what reminds us that we are not dreaming or dead. Struggle is life. So curl up in your comfort, neglect the ability to improve, and shut out the sounds of criticism that may come your way. We are all far from perfect (and we will never get anywhere near), but the fact that one can recog-nize this and care puts us one notch above them in my vision of the world. No longer can we exist as who we are "supposed to be," enough of the reinforced everyday-acceptable, it needs to be a question of "are we enough of ourselves to even exist..." Can I honestly look in the mirror and smirk out of relief that I am what I tell myself I am and not just the appearance or pencil-mug full of ideas, idle on the desk. Constancy is also a must: it saddens me, seeing those that used to be but are no longer, like finding out that Batman is just a comic book charac-ter. It's not so much that the illusions are shattered, the illusions were never truly there— it's fmding out that those we see are mortal, capable of letting us down, and that they never really were. Accomplishment is not found in how much alcohol you can consume in one weekend, how many drugs you have done over your lifetime, how much money you make or any other societally-reinforced construct of accomplishment. Want to impress me? Try living... Live your life, not everybody gets to. Apple Campus Reps are employees of Volt Global Services. THE RETORTS PAGE 19 Photo by Matt Langman Munoz dribbles the ball while fending off Toppers. LOOKING FOR AN EXCITING JOB? GOOD. BECAUSE RED BULL IS LOOKING FOR A STUDENT BRAND MANAGER ON YOUR CAMPUS! To find out more and to apply go to www.redbullu.com or text the word SBM to 72855 €) 2006 Rcd Bull North Americo. 1n.. A11 rights. rci.cr •c.1 NIP Photo by Matt Langman Windy Boy releases a jump shot. .a\ iYELLOWJACKET :14314#/ATHLETICS Jacket Men Unable to Climb Over Hilltoppers in Conference Championship JED BARTON The MSU-Billings men's basket-ball team came within a few minutes of clinching its first ever Heartland Confer-ence championship. But five late turn-overs and some opportunistic shooting by St. Edward's gave the Hilltoppers the 83- 77 victory and the Heartland's automatic berth in the NCAA tournament. The Yellow jackets, who had earned their place in the title game by defeating Oklahoma Panhandle 80-67 in the semi-final, led by seven at halftime, 39-22, and by as many as 10 during the second half. From 12:30 to play onward however, St. Edward's be-gan chipping away at MSU-B's lead. The Hilltoppers eventually took a one-point lead with 2:01 to play. For the Jackets things went downhill from there as they turned over the ball on their next five possessions, al-lowing St. Edward's to score the points which en-sured the victory. Besides turnovers an-other problem for MSU-B seemed to be lack of depth in the lineup. In addition to already being down a player as forward Lucas Walker was unavailable due to a season ending injury sustained against St. Mary's on Feb. 18, early foul trouble lim-ited Walker's replacement in the lineup. Jonathan Wiley to just 20 minutes ofplay-ing time (compared to 38 against OPSU in the semis) leaving the Jackets without a key defensive specialist much of the game. In his post game remarks to the me-dia, Head Coach Craig Carse made few excuses instead giving credit to the Hilltoppers for winning the game saying "Sixty days ago we set a goal to be in a position to win the conference and we did that. As to what happened tonight, things just didn't go our way. I'm very proud of our guys; I thought they played very hard and very intelligently. Congratulations to St. Edward's. They did the things they needed to do to win." As to next year which will be Carse's 12" along the Yellowjackets side-lines, MSU-B will have some tough holes to fill as the Heartland Championship marked the last appearance in a Jacket uniform of three seniors: Moritz Wohlers, Buddy Windy Boy and Cameron Munoz. Wohlers who played just one year at MSU-B was a vital presence inside the paint for the Jackets, while Munoz and Windy Boy were two of the best shoot-ers in school history. Munoz logged an NCAA Division II record 451 three point-ers during his career while Windy Boy's 301 baskets from behind the arc were good enough for third all time in school history. "We will miss Buddy, Cameron and Moritz," said Carse, "But I know we have a lot of guys who can pick up where they left off" PAGE 20•THE RETORT Photo by Matt Langman The Lady Jackets suffer a loss to the Lady Aggies at semifinals. Surprise! Lady Jackets Upset in Heartland Playoff JED BARTON Sporty 134*.*Itr The MSU-Billings Women's basketball season came to a surprise ending on March 1, as the fourth seeded Lady Aggies of Oklahoma Pan-handle upset the first seed. Lady Yellowjackets, 80-71, in a Heartland Conference semifinal game at Alterowitz Gym. Things seemed to be go-ing MSU-B's way at halftime as 17 points from fotward Michelle Liber propelled the Lady Jackets to a 41-31 lead. The second half was a different story as OPSU shut down the MSU-B offense holding them to just 29 points on 34.3% shoot-ing while the Lady Aggies shot 48.4% from the field and made 14 free throws to score 51 points after the break and pull off the upset earning a berth in the league championship. "We did not play our charteristic game half," said head coach Kevin Woodin. "To start with our nine turnovers in the first half cost us points which meant we should have been up by more then 10 at the half. Compound that to our shooting in the second half where we went something like one for 19 from three point range and it becomes very evi-dent that we were outplayed. Panhandle is a good team and took full advantage of our mis-takes by shooting phenom-enally in. the second half." . The loss, which cost MSU-B any chance of an NCAA tournament bid, means the Lady Jackets end the season with a 19-9 (9-3 HLC) record and also marks the end of the collegiate playing careers of three of MSU-B's best. Guard Lisa Jellum and forward Tanya Petersen both graduate in May while guard Shannon Harvey hangs up her sneakers with a year of eligibility left due to re-curring knee problems. Despite the disappointing end to the season and the play-ers the team will lose, Woodin looks forward to next year, his third since leaving Billings West High School to take over the Lady Yellowjackets program. "We have a lot of good players coming back and I think we can get back to the playoffs and maybe the NCAA tournament," he said. MSU-B is Sprung (On Spring Sports That Is) JED BARTON Sports rieyEtor) The spring sports season at MSU-Billings is off and running as the Yellowjackets can be found in action on the golf course, tennis court as well as the baseball and softball diamonds. Golf Teams to host RMC Both the MSU-B men's and women's golf teams have one tournament under their belts as they prepare for their only home tournament of the season: the annual head to head Ryder Cup style showdown with Rocky, March 16-17 at the Briarwood. The Lady Jacket golfers competed in the Lady Rattler Classic hosted by St. Mary's University in San Antonio Texas, Feb. 25-26. MSU-B struggled in its first rounds of the new season, shooting team scores of370 and 374 in the 36 hole event to finish in 18th place, more than 100 shots behind the winners, Western Washington. The men's squad also ran into trouble out of the gate, playing in the St. Edwards Invitational in Austin, Texas Feb. 27-28, Shooting a 54 hole score of 1014 to finish in 13th place far behind the tournament champion Northeastern St. (Okla.). Tennis proves a tough racket On the tennis court success has so far eluded MSU-B as both the men and women have only managed one victory so far as both Jacket teams defeated Whitworth College on Feb. 10. The Lady Jackets have dropped four other meets falling to Lewis-Clark St (2), MSU-Bozeman and Eastern Washington while the men have lost to L-C (2) and MSU-Bozeman. Following a spring break trip to Denver to face a slew of RMAC oppo-nents, MSU-B returns home for its only appearance in the Tennis Bubble all sea-son as the Mauraders of the University of Mary come to town Mar. 17-18. Softball takes two at CWU Invitational Also continuing with early season struggles is the Yellowjacket softball team (5-14) as they lost six of eight games at the Central Washington Invitational March 2-5. The two bright spots came as MSU-B defeated Western Oregon 3-1 and St. Martin's 4-2. Several of the other games were close as MSU-B even put a bit of a scare into nationally ranked Humboldt St. as the Lady Jackets
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|Subject||College newspapers - Montana - Billings; Eastern Montana Normal School; Eastern Montana State Normal School; Eastern Montana College of Education; MSU Billings; EMCOE; MSUB|
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Dr. Barron's Reptile Romp
Dr. Barron inserts a needle into a reptile.
The thought of lizards or snakes is usually
enough to turn most people's blood cold, but Dr.
Jim Barron, Assistant Professor of Biology here at
MSU-B, hunts for the creepy-crawlers every sum-mer.
Barron, a vertebrate ecologist, chose to study
Phgnosoma hernadesi, commonly known as the
mountain short-homed lizard, two years ago for
several reasons — but the simple fact that very little
research as been done on the species was motiva-
Photo courtesy of Mac Albin
tion enough for Barron, the consummate scientist.
His field work also satisfies the University's ex-pectation
that all faculty members specializing in
the sciences produce and publish scientific re-search.
In his proposal to MSU-B, Barron stated,
"The primary goal of this project is to describe, in
detail, the daily movement patterns, home ranges,
temperature profiles and habitat associations of
Phgnosonia hernadesi, through detailed tracking
using radio-telemetric equipment." In other words,
the little buggers are tagged and tracked to find out
See REPTILE ROMP pg. 6
Page 23 Graphic courtesy of Dr. Matthew Benacquista
LISA will detect bends in space.
THE VOICE OF MONTANA STA
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Set to Retire
Life is either
✓ or nothing.
Volume 77,Issue 9
NICOLE LIVER NIONT
Students and community
members attended the ninth an-nual
Career Fitness- Fair on
Thursday, February 23 from
noon to 4:00 pm held in the ball-room
of the Student Union
Building at MSU-Billings. At
the fair, there were more than
60 employers welcoming pro-spective
employees and interns.
The goal of the fair is for stu-dents
to gauge a good idea of
what employers are looking for
in new employees that are soon
to graduate or working on a de-gree.
The employers answered
questions like what do students
need to be studying for specific
jobs, what employers find to be
the most valuable assets to re-tain
from the college experience
and other tips for guidance. The
Career Fair also gave students
the opportunity to network with
employers and apply for pos-sible
jobs and internships.
The fair also came
equipped with workshops from
noon to 4:30. The workshops
were "Be an Interview Super-star;
Brad and Angelina Re-
See CAREERS pg. 5
A Shining Star at MSU-Billings
Light-years of progress
are being made in the field of
space knowledge. The gleam-ing
star to be found around cam-pus
is Dr. Matthew Benaquista.
Dr. Benaquista has been a pro-fessor
of Physics at MSU-Bill-ings
since 1988 and there is no
end in sight. He has an impres-sive
resume that boasts being the
Chair of the Task Force on Ga-lactic
Binary Populations and is
part of the LISA International
To break it down, he's an
astrophysicist working on a La-ser
Interferometer Space An-tenna
(LISA). LISA is going to
be put in orbit to measure grav-ity
waves in space. When large
massive objects move, it makes
space time move due to the
change in distance. The antenna
will chart the bends in space.
LISA consists of three space
crafts that will form an equilat-eral
triangle to orbit the sun. The
triangles will be on their own in-dependent
orbit but will stay syn-chronized
to a distance of three
million miles from one another.
The spacecrafts will bounce
around a laser that will consist
of a certain wave frequency.
When the wave changes fre-quency
the scientists will be able
to gauge the distance the mas-sive
space objects have moved.
It may sound simple, but
you're being fooled. The dis-tance
that an object in spaceis
about "the distance of half of a
hydrogen atom" explained
Benaquista. This distance is so
minuscule that it can only be
measured by testing the fre-quency
of a wave. LISA's sister
antenna is a ground antenna of
much a smaller magnitude. The
idea is similar but the antenna is
on the ground somewhere in
Washington state. Benaquista is
See STAR pg. 4
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I feel like I am end-lessly
pontificating on the
finer points of campus in-volvement.
One reason for
this feeling could be that I
am, in fact, endlessly pon-tificating
on the finer points
of campus involvement. Or,
maybe I feel this way be-cause
is a topic of continued and
Beyond adding a line to your resume, fos-tering
new friendships and becoming a
part of something bigger than yourself, in-volvement
with campus organizations has
other attractive, yet unsung rewards.
I spent five days in Los Angeles re-cently.
Why should you care, you ask?
Well, because you paid for my trip. Hold
on, I'm not bragging simply for the sake
of making you feel small and unimpor-tant
or ripped off. Rather, I am attempt-ing
to share what I've learned with those
of you who made my experience possible.
And if this prompts someone to join a
campus organization, well, that wouldn't
One of the perks of belonging to an
organization is the possibility to attend
conferences and/or conventions where in-valuable
learning can be accessed. I have
friends who spent two days at Chico Hot
Springs last month on your dime, too. I'm
not kidding about this campus involve-ment
I was fortunate enough to have one
such opportunity as well when, along with,
three other Retort staff members, I flew
to Los Angeles for a college newspaper
convention. We went to workshops and
lectures in addition to attending keynote
addresses given by a Pulitzer Prize win-ning
cartoonist, a Pulitzer winning jour-nalist
and an AP reporter. Thanks,
The convention lasted three days
and we met students from big and small
college newspapers from across the U.S.
and Canada. What we got was a grab bag
of information and ideas which we are ex-cited
to incorporate into The Retort (you
may notice some of them in this very is-sue!).
One thing we saw was that there
are other staffs as small and disorganized
as ours. We also saw that there are some
extremely impressive daily newspapers
put out by some of the bigger journalism
schools. There were lessons to be taken
away from all of them. I though it might
be fun to create a list of " Four Things I
Learned in California at the Expense of
the Student Body."
#1 Fontana is a city in the LA val-ley.
Of course the meetings for the con-vention
did not last all day. When the
day's lectures adjourned, hundreds of us
college newspaper nerds were unleashed
on LA. While exploring and taking in
some of the culture available (ever heard
"Baby Got Back" accompanied by a pi-ano?),
we met many locals. I was mildly
disheartened and wildly amused to dis-cover
that in spite of Ted Kaczynski and
the Freemen, Montana isn't that well
known to some of our fellow members of
the union. Some of my favorite responses
to where we came from are the follow-ing:
"Fontana, huh?" I came to learn that
Fontana is a reputedly white trash city in
San Bernardino County that a local morn-ing
show affectionately refers to as
`Fontucky.' No, thank you,, we are not
"Montana? What state
is that in?" I only wish I was
"Montana? I've heard
of that place. Isn't it kinda
like Colorado?" If you mean
in the sense that both are
states in the U.S., then yes,
I guess it is kinda like Colo-rado.
"Montana? Don't you
guys have the Ozarks?" Ummm, no.
#2 You really do get to see famous
people in LA.
So on the plane ride down I was
looking at a magazine article that was
shamelessly exploiting the anatomy of
Olympic Speed Skater Apolo Anton Ohno.
The very next day waiting for the shuttle
outside of our hotel, who did I chance to
see? That's right—Mr. Ohno himself. I
have pictures to prove it for anyone inter-ested;
and we are in love.
#3 Public transportation is both
a bane and a boon.
Following our $90 cab ride from
LAX to our hotel in Universal City, we
resolved to not take any more cab rides.
Fortunately, LA has an infant subway sys-tem
known as the Metro rail. To make life
without a car better for Southern Califor-nians,
the Metro also has a number of bus
lines which can be accessed from the rail
stops. I've lived here for almost 20 years,
and if you haven't noticed, Montana isn't
exactly current on the public transporta-tion
thing. However, we pretty much mas-tered
the system by the end of the trip.
This was proven when we spent five hours
on the rail and bus lines one day in order
to enjoy two and a half hours at Venice
Beach. Another example was how com-fortable
we started to feel standing
wedged between a sedentary mosh pit of
complete strangers while white knuckling
an overhead railing inside a bus traveling
at speeds of 40 MPH in between stops
which occur approximately every city
The upside is that we could ride all
Metro lines for $3 a day.
#4 Operators of public transpor-tation
systems are soulless you-know-what-
This fact was brought to my atten-tion
during our $90 cab ride. While spend-ing
more than an hour with our less-than-gracious
Russian born driver, one of the
other staff members tried unsuccessfully
to make small talk with said person. Ap-parently,
$3.20 a mile does not buy one
out of uncomfortable silence and blatant
rudeness. Good to know; polite conver-sation
This truism became more apparent
while riding the Metro buses. Transferring
busses is actually a lot more complicated
than it might seem, especially for people
who are completely ignorant of their sur-roundings.
Of the seven bus drivers we
encountered, all but two shouted, belittled
and otherwise offended riders, ourselves
included. Now, we only rode three buses,
but we sure did board six different buses.
Those are some of the things I
learned outside of the convention. Look
for the other newspaper-related issues
which will be sprinkled throughout up-coming
issues of The Retort. Thanks
PAGE 2•THE RETORT
Photo courtesy of Dr C. Adrian Heidenreich
Dr. Heidenreich while doing field work.
Photo courtesy of Dr C. Adrian Heidenreicl
Dr. Heidenreich poses in front of buffalo on Native Land.
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